In first grade, I decided to sit on the bus next to this girl I thought was really cool. She was so good at drawing and made the whole bus laugh when she made a joke. I sat down and she talked to me like we were already best friends. Soon enough, I’m invited to her birthday party. Over the next 10 years, we spent summers walking to the ice cream shop together and watching silly movies on the weekends. One of the first times she came over, her mom picked her up and asked her to wait in the car. I secretly listened from the stairs as her mom explained to my mom, “we think she’s got autism, but more like Asperger’s. Thank you for having her over. Did she give you any trouble? We prefer having them hang out at our house just so no tantrums are thrown.” I remember thinking to myself, “autism? Asperger’s? She’s like my best friend, how could she have autism?” It wasn’t long before I was using the internet to search my curiosities and found so many confusing sources. It was later on that I saw what her mom was talking about. However, it never really changed our friendship. I knew she acted a little different than I did but I still loved her. It wasn’t until middle school when she got formally diagnosed. It was so hard for other people to see it; she was so sociable and funny, it didn’t fit the norm of what people thought autism looked like. I remember when she got emotional as she told me that she had autism, and I told her it didn’t change a thing. Although we aren’t friends anymore, she was one of my best friends for a long time and she made me a better person in so many ways.

In second grade, I weirded out the girl at my table in school. She even asked to be moved tables because I was a bit too excitable for her. A few weeks later, we became close friends as well. She was much more quiet. She hated confrontation, while I didn’t mind talking back to the bossy girls. We simply complimented each other in so many ways. She was good at everything she tried, musically and academically. I always strived to her level but often fell short. She inspired me, while I later found out that I inspired her to be more outgoing. It wasn’t until middle school that she got diagnosed with autism as well. Not a thing changed. To this day, she is one of my dearest friends.

My sophomore of college, I found myself rooming in an apartment with pretty much strangers. 3 girls who were already friends had invited me to live with them. One of them I clicked with immediately. Together, we sat on the couch for hours, switching between studying and watching dumb TV shows. We went on insane amounts of Dunkin trips and laughed about everything. When we disagreed, we disagreed strongly but when we agreed, it was a passion. She self-identified with autism spectrum disorder, I later found out. Not a thing changed. She graduated this year but I still message her often. She made my sophomore year filled with laughter and fun.

A few months ago, I moved in to my apartment with two girls I didn’t know. I found myself being joined on the couch for my studying sessions and watching dumb TV shows. One of the girls found me funny and loved to listen to my stories. She’s bright and has lived a life different than mine yet we are so similar. She decorates for holidays and has a box of fidget toys that we all play with during our late-night roommate debriefs. She told me that she also self-identifies with autism spectrum disorder. At this point, I know that it would not change a thing. I can’t wait for our friendship to continue to blossom.

Throughout my life, I have been surrounded by neurodivergent individuals, whether I knew it at the time or not, these are just a few examples that stand out. At first it may have been confusing, but I quickly learned what was so special about it. Something about these wonderful people in my life has drawn me to them. I am neurodivergent, although I do not have autism, but I do understand autism to an extent I wish more people would. Some of the most important and incredible people in my life have ASD and I would never want them to change. They do not need a cure. The ways that they are different have made me a more understanding, intrigued, passionate person who is continuously inspired by them; not because they have autism, but because of who they are and autism just happens to be apart of that.

To all the underrepresented people who have struggled with getting an autism diagnosis: I see you, I hear you, and you are valid. It is not your fault that our classrooms didn’t introduce us to different minds and didn’t show us how to embrace your differences. I have seen with my own eyes the struggle my women friends had in recognizing they have autism and the impacts of their symptoms getting overlooked.

Surrounding yourself with friendships of people that are different than you is what makes you a well-rounded, empathetic, worldly person. Some people only stick to people exactly the same as them. This, I will never understand. Our differences make us much more interesting, don’t you think?

Two girls riding on their bikes. This was one of my favorite things to do with the first friend I mentioned.

A google search of the word “autism”, showing almost exclusively young boys as examples.