After learning what emotional labor is from Julie Beck It really made me think about all of the times I had to be at work with the heaviest heart from my personal problems but I had to show up and be happy for a person I have never met before.
Honestly I think the idea of emotional labor is a two way street it’s good but bad all at the same time. Because it puts so much strain on a worker’s mindset to show up for their job when they have a lot of things going on in their head and then don’t let there be a rude customer because it just makes it ten times worse.
This relates to my story very well recently with my server job. About three weeks ago I was going through something that really broke my mental down and everyone knows when your mental isn’t up to par you won’t be up to par. So I had this one guy who wanted more water so of course me doing my job I was going to refill his drink regardless but the man kept using his fingers in a come here motion every time he needed water and of course I let it slide when I first saw it because I just thought that maybe he’s doing it because he thought we didn’t notice his cup but after filling up the cup the man had the nerve to shoo me away and not say a word to me not even a thank you and that really annoyed me. It got to the point I had to stop serving him all together just because of it but I couldn’t do that all night because the requirements of a customer service type worker is to make sure the customer is happy and it is always said that we need to keep a smile on our face.
I guess the point of this blog is that if you need a break try to find a way to take that break because if not you just gonna blow up on a person that didn’t deserve it or maybe they did. Also employers should stop putting the customer is always right rule on their employees and should pay attention to how badly we can be treated just because the customer thinks they have the right.
Unruly Bodies 
I feel this 100%!! I’ve worked in the service industry for so long, that I know exactly what you mean. Its exhausting putting your happy face on and act like everything is okay when internally you feel like your world is falling a part. And the last place you want to be at is work. I used to work with my ex boyfriend and that was horrible because we could be fighting in the back and then I’d have to turn around and come back upfront to ring up a customer with a blotchy, smiley face from just crying. It wasn’t like I could just leave and have the day off either because Im too broke to just take off lol. Same with when my parents were going through this really tough divorce, I would go to court in the morning listen to all the trauma that surfaced and then had to go to work and act like everything was fine. So, trust me I know what you mean!
On a positive note though, the one thing I do love about my job is that we don’t abide by the “customer is always right” rule. We are very professional but, you can be professional and not take the disrespect from the awful people of the world at the same time. I actually learned that if you kindly reply in a way that is affirmative and strict to the customers disrespect that they almost stop or calm their negative attitude and rudeness towards you. Doesn’t work for all, but will work for at least some, sometimes.
The disrespect that servers go through is insane, and I’m so sorry you had to deal with that. While I haven’t worked in the food service industry, I was given a very emotional labor intensive responsibility last year while I was working on the capstone of my major, and while some personal and family issues were happening in my life. To put it mildly I spent a lot of time the past two semesters crying. Out from the other side of that experience, I’m very proud of what I was able to accomplish, and all together am glad that I had the experience. All of that being said however, emotional labor is difficult, and its insane that it’s seen as a requirement for a lot of jobs and responsibilities.
I used to be a server. The entitlement of some people is bewildering and it still makes me mad to think back on the way some people would talk to me. I was thinking about it this morning, how I would receive smiles from people when I walked into IHop wearing regualar clothes, and those smiles would turn into less friendly nods or straight up scowls if I walked in on a busy weekend wearing my IHop uniform. I have put a salad in a slightly larger box and had a man scream at me that I ate his salad and that I was going to hell for it, and throw the salad onto the ground in front of me. The emotional labor it requires to have to smile and be polite to a rude customer is huge. Some customers deserve to be bitched out and it would probably develop their character, but we’re “not allowed to”. Bullshit!!!
The “customer is always right” mentality is utter nonsense. As if servers aren’t actual people with actual problems and instead just NPCs. I applaud you for knowing your limit and stepping away from that difficult customer. I don’t have experience working in the service industry but I deeply relate to the idea of having to paint a smile on your face even when you are crumbling internally. Are people not allowed to know we have feelings? Does it make them uncomfortable that we are human? We need to do some serious unpacking of all these problematic, deeply held beliefs as a society and just let people exist. And for the love of all things give people mental health breaks!!!