This is gonna be a word salad but it’s actually crazy navigating this world as a person with anger issues, bpd, anemia and autism. I know, girl pick a struggle. To give you a little glimpse into my life. Being anemic is weird. As stated in class, people only think disabilities you can see are valid. And don’t get me wrong if I’m being honest I don’t consider being anemic disabling but maybe I don’t consider it disabling because of that subconscious bias as well. As someone with anemia one thing I do ( as well as others) is when I get up too fast my vision gets fuzzy like I’m seeing circles and static and I have to lean over and sit sometimes even lay down. One could argue that that is disabling. And I could see why because that affects me when I’m working (as a receptionist I’ve had to do that sometimes) when I’m at a conference or meeting or babysitting just anything in life.

Don’t get me started on having bpd- I sorry un-medicated and untreated bpd. And yes you guessed it ( that is because of finding a psychiatrist and therapist that will take our parent’s insurance). It affects every aspect of my life as well but especially my relationships with other human beings. People think they are accepting and “woke” until your friend goes off and becomes satans right hand man in an argument and then 25 minutes later is like “bro remember this lmfaooooo” like NOTHING happened. I’ve lost friends over it. And I’m not okay with it. I’m not. I’m not gonna sit here and lie to you guys and be like it’s whatever it’s there loss. No my feelings are hurt and I wish I didn’t have this in my brain. It’s almost kinda debilitating. But idk it feels wrong to call it debilitating because that feels reserved for things like schizophrenia, Down syndrome, paralysis etc… I wish I could just take a pick and fix my brain and be normal. Yes I said it. Don’t believe these people- having mental illnesses is not normal and that’s okay. It’s not a bad word.

And to TOP IT ALL OFF god just had to make me neurodivergent as the final touch. Everyone in my family is neurodivergent. From my mom to my dad to me and my little sister. Shit we think the dog is too 💀. But it’s so crazy cuz the reason my parents (mainly my dad) never had anything done about it was because not just because they didn’t have the money, but also the community they’re in. It’s already bad enough society is so 👀 about being autistic and then you have the black community which is like worse towards people who are different. For lots of black people who have autism/neurodivergent or physical disabilities, our first and main bullies are the people who look like us, talk like us, dress like us, worship like us. It’s so alienating. Don’t worry it’s gotten better because of the newer generations but it’s just like damn can we catch a break . It’s a good thing this is not an on paper assignment cuz there’d be tears stains all along the page😹.