my first tattoo was a tiger. trigger warning: self-harm, SA
placed on my hip,
sized just a bit
too small for anyone else to see
unless they were seeing all of me anyway.

i got him because they symbolize
fearlessness.
and i hoped his courage would come to me
from seeing his bold inked form every day,
reminding me of my power.
(it works some days)

my second one was a rose.
they stand for love,
for my heart truly grows
when i think of the adolescent girl
who used to take a blade and hold
the tip to her own flesh to show
the world the hole inside her soul
consuming her wide, consuming her whole.
(but people just think it’s pretty; i don’t tell them i put the rose over my healed scars to remind me to never forget to love myself again)

tattoo number three came suddenly to me
when i heard medusa’s story (a rendition).
the snakes were not to punish her more,
but guard her from more pain and gore.
they helped her spin an evil lore
where twisted forms and forked tongues
turned man and monster into stones
that served as everlasting tombs.
(when i heard this version of her story i cried and cried. she is not bitter and broken, she is bold even when she was burned.)

my lotus.
there is a tale of this flower
growing from muck,
through strife and strain
yet never staying stuck;
yearning to feel the warmth of day.
the lotus grows through greatest pain,
through scum and water in hopes to attain
a safe space to bloom and lay
its petals, arrayed in the dawning sun.
(if you’re here today, i’m proud of you. i hope you’ve found your safe space to bloom. don’t ever give up; don’t let the pain in this world make you forget there’s things worth living for. you are worth living for.)