6 months ago we started dating. my second ever queer relationship and i knew it would have to be my last. somewhere along those 6 months i fell hard for you. you took my fragile heart gently and cupped it in your hands tightly.
last night you told me that your dad found out that you were dating a girl, and had given you an ultimatum. you have two years to decide- live the way you are living and move out of my house or start living righteously. (who told him? who saw us together? were we just holding hands?) i didn’t think that we would be found out so soon. it had only been 6 months.
when i held hands with you, when i reached out to hold your hand, and you held it, we put our bodies under the knife edge of power. you put yourself under the knife edge when you said yes to me asking you to be my girlfriend in may.
i guess im trying to be grateful for the time we had but the truth is im scared and guilty and angry. (fuck! fuck the church and fuck your dad and fuck it all oh my god!!!) i feel a future me looking back at my young twenties and seeing myself living a vibrant queer life in baltimore. i know there’s an alternative universe me where that is my reality.
We should go out and dance like we used to dance
We should go out and hold hands like lovers hold hands
And I can’t tell you who’s gonna last
Well, maybe that’s a question and answer I don’t have
Unruly Bodies 
I’m so sorry you and her are going through this. It’s so suffocating when you can’t show the love you have for each other without someone, somewhere seeing and reporting you. You shouldn’t have to feel guilty for loving someone. You were not wrong for that. I’m a lesbian who grew up in the Catholic church and I’ve always resented that religious institutions continue to hurt queer people for something as beautiful and pure as love, while so many other people are able to find comfort and refuge in them.
Baltimore has such a rich and vibrant queer culture. You definitely will find your people, even if it takes time. You have so many Prides to attend in your future, gay bars, festivals, cafes, raves, even gay sports leagues and book clubs to join. The future is bright, I promise.
FUCK. This is something so hard to go through and the Dijon paired with your struggle made me cry a bit. I really hope everything works out for you friend!