Why me? I ask myself this question everyday why was I born so sick? Why was a born with these mental and physical struggles? Why do I feel so different like I don’t belong here? Why did I not die a birth? Why did I live instead?
These are things that I ask myself when my depression/ anxiety speak for themselves. I fight them back every day each day goes by it get a bit easier since starting therapy and getting medicine. Even so it still a fight, I for so long was afraid to seek help due to being suicidal I was afraid they would lock me away and throw away the key, like they do to so many others. I had personal connection to this fear my mom had an aunt who was sent away to the mental hospital back in the late 60s, to this day no one has any idea what happen to her once she was sent away no one heard from her or saw her again. This is something that is not just history it still happens to people today, but no one know or speaks about it. This why many people fear asking for help they don’t want to be taken away thrown in a hospital and have all their basic human rights stripped from them.
Solitary confinement is a cruel/inhumane punishment they put not just prisoners through but also those with mental struggles. They say to protect them, but it is to control them this does not help a prisoner reform nor help someone with mental health recover it only make these issues worse. Although has been some improvement but nowhere enough and it only improved for those of certain class and race.
Unruly Bodies 
It is heroic to speak openly about struggles so personal to you. I also think that the feeling of isolation is something we all share, but share so selectively to ourselves and there is no outspoken support around it. Nonetheless, your ability to be proactive about your health and using the tools at your disposal to combat these challenges is a huge step that is an ongoing process, a process that is halted and destroyed in solitary confinement (and prison as a whole). We need reform in mental health, especially in the prison system, for the sake of us all.
I resonate heavily with this, some days it really was like I was fighting my anxiety and depression to the point of exhaustion. I also feared telling anyone about my battles, not knowing what they’re reaction would be…
The why me question you ask at the beginning really resonated with me. I ask myself and my therapist this every day. The connection you made to solitary confinement also hit home for me. We need a different way of treating folks with mental health issues.