Content Disclosure: discussion of mental illness; detailed depictions of anxiety, depression, panic attacks, and disordered eating; internalized ableism and fatphobia; mentions of suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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content warning: discussion of self-destructive behavior; mentions of eating disorder, transphobia, and sexual harassment

In Fall of 2019, my sophomore year, I took 22 credits and I got straight As except for a B in French 103 but that’s ok it’s for a GEP and I don’t really need French anyway so I got straight As that’s what matters. Actually 3 of those credits were for my production called Girls on a Dirt Pile that rehearsed every weeknight for 3.5 hours and then for 5 hours a night during tech week and we had performances so that class should have probably been more than 3 credits just to show that we did the work and I should have had a heating pad for my hips when I got home because the movement irritated old injuries but I didn’t have a heating pad and I had to do homework anyway so I stayed in pain and I stayed exhausted because I was sleeping maybe 3 hours a night and nobody ever saw me without a large coffee in my hand, and one time I was so tired that I forgot my name and started crying in Vocal class and when Cole saw me later he told me I looked lost and had to convince me to go home and nap instead of going to Stagecraft so that I would be able to have a productive rehearsal later. But I got straight As except for French and the show was awesome (except for when one of the actors broke her foot because the set designers didn’t consider that we would need stairs to get off a platform even though we had asked for stairs when we saw the skinny slippery metal bar we we supposed to use as a step, but we got stairs after Anna broke her foot and later I yelled at our department head in a TheatreCOM meeting about negligence and safety because broken bones are not ok and now the faculty has a safety committee) and I was Fine.