I can’t decide what to write about. This is my struggle with every blog post because I have so many ideas but I always want to make sure I make a post that is appealing, relates to class, and has a clear purpose. This time around I was debating between tracking my period symptoms, Harry Styles and masculinity, an annoyance with getting birth control, or WAP. However, I have chosen to just write about my indecisiveness because 1) I could not decide on what to write, 2) this seemed easy to write about, and 3) I just want to get this assignment done because I have about 20 other assignments between me and the end of the semester. 

I started coming out as bisexual when I was a sophomore in high school but I was apprehensive about my identity until college. I feel more comfortable now talking about it with friends and most relatives. I am even starting to play with my style more by finally confidently shopping in the men’s section at stores. I am finally trying outfits that I have always admired others wearing such as button downs tucked into jeans or sweaters that have a more masculine aesthetic. I still have not been in a serious relationship with a man or woman (or even successfully flirt). Yet, with a growing confidence in my sexuality (and extreme loneliness) I would love to put myself out there with someone. Even if I am alone forever, I am really happy that I am growing so much. I am becoming more happy with who I am even though I still am not 100% sure who that person is. I am still unsure of what I want to do with my professional career in the long term. I have no clue where I want to live and create a life. I don’t know if I want to own a cat or a dog. I can’t tell if I like people platonically or romantically. I have gender dysmorphia and am constantly confused on my pronouns. I also don’t put in the effort to figure any of it out. I get scared and just want to stay in my bed far away from it all. This has caused so many issues but that is not why I wanted to write this post. 

When I had my first period in 2011, my mom handed me an orange Always pad. When I got my next period she handed me the same thing. Soon after she passed away. My older sisters menstruated, but they did not like talking about it.. So I kept wearing orange pads made by Always. My period was HEAVY. Like filled up a pad every hour for two weeks straight, heavy. All I had was my trusty orange Always pad, but I leaked constantly and felt extremely uncomfortable from the feeling of the pad. A little later my flow got better, but the symptoms got extremely worse. When I got older I tried birth control and my period became much more manageable.

TikTok is a popular app that allows users to post a video up to 60 seconds long of them singing, dancing, acting, cooking, etc. Millions of people, of all ages, use the app to express themselves and share information or art with others.

TikTok uses an algorithm to create a “for you page” full of users and videos that are tailored to your interests and likes. On my “for you page,” I see videos about cats, rescue animals, Hamilton, and engineers. However, something I do not see is a lot of disabled people. It took months of being on the app before I saw someone in a wheelchair on the app. She is a dancer and I was shocked; not because she was in a wheelchair and dancing, but because I never expected to see someone dancing in a wheelchair. In all of the months I have been on TikTok, I have seen dozens of people dance to viral songs. All involve hand movements and minimal feet movement, so why was I surprised to see someone in a wheelchair doing the same thing? A lot of the dances do have to be modified for the dancer’s specific ability, but they are still very similar to the original dances. These creators need to be promoted in order to show that anyone can dance and enjoy participating in TikTok trends.