Biases

by

The System Classifies Me As Unknown.

Remember when we took those tests where we would have to bubble in what we were; White, Black, Asian, Native American, Hispanic/Latino, Pacific Islander, etc.? Well, not anymore.

Earlier this week I had to get fingerprinted for some community service that I was going to be doing. When they asked me to identify myself, I put Hispanic/Latino and White since I’m mixed. When I went to get the actual prints, the lady asked me to check if all of my information was correct in the system. I looked at the screen and noticed that she only selected White. I told her that I was mixed, and she said, “well, our system doesn’t really have that as an option. I had to select White otherwise you would be listed as unknown”. I asked her what she meant by that, and she said that the system only identified people as 4 things: White, Black, Asian, and unknown. At this point I was so confused. Was everything that I ever thought about myself a lie?

I went home and did some research, and it turns out that Hispanic/Latino is more of a culture than an actual race. Now, instead of having our own category, we are now going to be lumped into another – one that fits us the best by the color of our skin. After coming to understand that this is what it’s going to be like, I felt like I had lost my sense of identity; I never thought that a single phrase – “well, that would just make you unknown in the system” – could affect me so much. I never thought that my skin tone would feel like the only thing that defined me. I felt like I was an alien, and to be quite honest I was kind of offended by this, because I was taught all throughout all my years that Hispanic/Latino was a race; and now all of a sudden someone was going to strip me of everything that I ever thought and believed, and tell me that I am technically unknown in the system, and to make things easier she was just going to enter me as White. Although I am half White, I don’t like the fact that I feel like I am in a way “disowning” my dad’s side. I just wish that I could have been better educated in the past, that way I wouldn’t have to feel so confused as an adult.

by

I used to hide my freckles.

I used to hide my freckles.

Up until I went to high school, I never thought twice about how I looked. I would literally just throw on a t-shirt and some jeans, put my hair into a ponytail, and walk out of the house. Around the beginning of high school, one of my friends pointed out that I had freckles. At first, I was confused because I had gone all my life without realizing this, and now I was afraid that I would be made fun of for having them.

I thought that my freckles were interesting, but I was afraid that other people would not think the same way. I used to get picked on from 6th-8th grade, and I did not want to start at a new school and have the past repeat itself. I decided that I would rarely talk to people at school, and keep my head in the books – literally.

By the time I hit the 12th grade, only few people had noticed my freckles, but they were my friends. I remember my sister taking me to the MAC store because she was so obsessed with “putting some color on [my] face”. Now, for the most part I agreed to get my make up done, because I thought it would be fun. The makeup artist there had given me some concealer for my dark circles, and some foundation that gave me a more tan – but still natural – look. I was in awe. I loved the way that all my flaws had seemed to disappear; all but my freckles.

The more I wore my makeup, the more my freckles seemed to disappear. Had I grown fond of them? I think I had. Although I felt as though people would make fun of me for having freckles, I still believed that they were pretty cool. My dad has a lot of freckles on his back and face, and I felt having freckles was actually a pretty interesting thing. Not many of my relatives have freckles, and I liked that fact that I was one of the few that did – it gave me a sense of connection with my family, and after staring at my face for countless hours a day, I started to like them.

I decided that it was time to retire the makeup for awhile. I went with a more natural look. I slept earlier, to help get rid of my bags, and I applied Ponds to my face morning and night. My face began to glow in a different way than it had before, and I was really starting to like it. A lot of people began complimenting me, saying that wearing no makeup looked a lot better on me than makeup did – and my freckles would get complimented too!

I still wear makeup sometimes if I am going out somewhere, or just because I am in the mood to look a bit more “girly”, but I love being able to take a break from it all to embrace my true, natural self.