beauty standards

To Insinuate or to Transform
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To Insinuate or to Transform

Whether I’m wearing lots of makeup or no makeup, I am always the same person inside.

-Lady Gaga

As a child up until about 7th grade I would consider myself to had been a tomboy with girly qualities. I never wanted to put on a dress, wear dressy shoes, heels, get my hair done, and not even thinking about makeup. As I got older from high school on out, I believe I fell more into wanting to get dolled up. So makeup was a big part of that right. I soon became interested in buying foundation, and eyeliners, mascara etc. I liked doing my makeup to an extent and now, I almost wear it everyday. I personally don’t feel bound by makeup because I still go out without it. Another part of me wants to always wear it for the extra confidence boost because its insinuating. But here is where the real problem is; when is it overboard and no longer only insinuating but more trans-formative.

Society now gets on women for wearing too much makeup or making themselves look different from their natural look. When I am around my dad, boyfriend, or brother its always the “ohh she is wearing too much makeup” judgement. Many are now concerned they won’t know how someone really looks. But should that be the main concern and why is it this way. I feel society puts pressure on women to look a certain way. People now go out their way to have a certain look and to still be judged.

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Shallowness, Not Happiness

Throughout my twenty two years on this planet, weight and food has been a majority fixture and topic of social life. There are so many diet ads that promise the key to a happy and healthy life. They insinuate that when you lose weight, you will become a totally different person.

During my eighth grade year of middle school, I lost a lot of my baby fat and experienced just how true this insinuation was. I find it sad and shallow, that it’s true. The majority of societies really do treat you differently once you look different, in their opinion, “a good way”. As soon as I went through this transformation, everyone at my school suddenly wanted to be my friend. I do not exaggerate that over the duration of two days, half my school started adding me on xanga and tagged ( social media sites that were popular in 2005 , especially for young people). It seemed as if I had become a different person or something, because I was not only accepted into the “cool crowd”, but wanted! And I could never feel very comfortable with myself, because I could not forget the fact that  my personality had not changed, only my body. Each new “friendship” that was beginning always had a sense of fakeness; the pressure to be a certain way and act a certain way. Which just made it harder to find and create genuine connections.

I don’t feel that having a desirable body is the key to happiness, but I do believe society’s shallow behavior and actions do support and shore up the social and class roles regarding fat and beauty/happiness. Unfortunately I am quite aware that with the career path I have chosen, I will be forced to come across these ideas and views constantly. As an actor, you are required to be fit (not just for scenes, but also for the strenuous exercises and movement involved).

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Attention Walmart Shoppers

“People of Walmart – Funny Pictures of People Shopping at Walmart.” Their slogan might be more accurate if they changed it to “Body Policing at its Finest.” Now, I understand rolling your eyes at something silly someone does at the store, or a weird way someone wears their hair. More specifically, I can totally understand “cringe-worthy” outfits that don’t support someone’s body type as I’m an avid What Not To Wear fan. But People of Walmart really sets the standard for public shaming, no matter what the reason. You can be fat, skinny, black, white, short, tall, male, female – it doesn’t matter. If there’s something off about you, even in the smallest sense, you could be subject to getting posted on this site. Continue reading →

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Blessed with Bosoms

I have had boobs since I was eleven years old. In fact, it would seem at eleven, I would experience all the things associated with puberty in that one year. Some of my oldest friends can’t even remember me being “flat-chested” and they would joke about how I was born with boobs. I have had a love hate relationship with my boobs mainly because others seemed to notice them. I have heard every single epithet hurled at me from eleven until now at twenty-five from males and females alike. Just to name a few names, Tits McGee, Tig O’ Bitties, and my all time favorite, Jiggles. Through these names were probably meant to be endearing, I  am growing sick and tired of the attention solely based on my boobs. But it is not only the names but the gawking, the back handed comments, the jokes ( I have heard every boob joke by now), the jealousy of other women, and the back problems.

Continue reading →

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Mirror, Mirror

Mirror, mirror on the wall,
who is the fairest one of all?
Is it the one over there, that skinny girl
or the one with the curves who should give the title a whirl?
Does it go to those wearing the latest brands
or those from the thrift store stands?
People who embrace their “natural beauty”
or those who wear make up as if its their destined duty?
Those dressed nice and straight laced
or those who take trends and happily deface.

…

Snow White you say?
Are you sure your opinion does not sway?
What makes her so special?
Her beauty is not so pure!
She sleeps with 12 men
and never goes outdoors…
(If you argue, take a look
at her skin which is as white as paper in a book)

No. I should not be crude.
My self worth is not based on how she is viewed.
Insulting her does not make me happy
it just makes me seem crabby.
No amount of name-calling will that change
I can only assess the problem in front of me, this issue I estrange

How dare you say I am not beautiful, not the fairest?!
You have no proof on that, I do suggest.
More than that, I know you’re wrong,
In my mind and heart your words do not belong.
I am beautiful, I do declare.
Your opinion, forever more, I do forswear.

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The Girl That Fat Built

So much of my identity has been shaped by my body and the way the world around me has treated it that I often find myself wondering, “If I’d had a different body, who would I be now?”

Some of my earliest painful memories are of becoming aware of my weight as an issue—my parents’ noticeable concern for my young and rapidly changing body, being called fat by my peers, the inability to share clothes with friends, the list goes on.

As my fat seemed to be under attack by the world around me, I subconsciously began to fashion armor around it. My attempts at protecting myself began with denial, not letting myself believe I was a “fat kid.” At eight years old, I still had the sense that I was fantastic and beautiful and I wasn’t ready to give that up. However, as people grew meaner and more eager to inform me that I wasn’t as beautiful as I thought I was, I came to a sort of sad acceptance.

But because I was a rambunctious and attention-seeking kid, I decided that maybe I could use being fat to my advantage. Continue reading →

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Long Hair Don’t Care

I have a confession to make.  I do not shave my arm pits.  Hell, I only shave my legs if I’m feeling saucy and have clean sheets because nothing is better than smooth legs in clean sheets.  (That’s a lie, a lot of things are better than that.)

While I like to think of myself as a badass feminist who says fuck you to anyone and everyone who tries to tell me what to do with my body – especially in regards to body hair—I am not.  That’s my second confession.  I wish it was that simple.

I don’t think it’s ever that simple.

Continue reading →