I dont really know where to begin. I remember as though through a haze… the feeling of mingled anticipation, dread, and sense of unreality leading up to the 2024 election. Logic said no, of course good must prevail, we can’t lose. Look at the numbers, I thought, there is no way this can go astray after the statistics of 2016 and 2020. If I’m being honest, it’s been days and it still doesn’t feel real. I woke up on November 6th in a different world, and Ive been going about my life, waking and sleeping and waking again feeling like I’m still in a living nightmare and it just simply can’t be real. 

Lives were dismantled on Wednesday. My outlook on the rest of my life and on the entire world changed. 

I remember waking up, rolling over, and checking my phone, a bit apprehensively. The first thing I remember processing was a text from my aunt saying how sorry she was for my generation, and how we will find a way rise above. The second I saw it I knew, before I even read the dozens of other messages. 

I immediately had a panic attack. 

I texted my girlfriend.

I called my mom.

I don’t think I’ll ever forget that morning. 

I remember panicking the night before, just anticipating the results with my girlfriend. My girlfriend is a hispanic immigrant, an amazing female athlete who came to America to pursue her dreams. I knew what this election could mean for her very directly.

I knew what it could mean for every immigrant, every queer and trans person, every woman, every minority living in this country. 

This country that was built on native land. 

Built on the dream for a better future, a better democracy. 

A place for people to come from all walks of life to live the “American dream”.

What happened? 

When did it go so wrong?

 I think we have lost the definition of patriotism. These self centered, bigoted, so-called patriots who claim to seek salvation for their country… How don’t they see it? 

Is it so easy to follow along, to parrot what you’re told by The Man?

Were this many people really just waiting for someone to come along and validate their hatred and say, “no please, go ahead, it’s ok to be a bigot and oppress that which you do not understand”? That which doesn’t have quite literally anything to do with your life. Individual and private parts of other people’s lives. 

I really don’t understand what happened, I don’t understand the logic, I don’t understand how we got here, I will simply never understand the hate. 

I fear for my country, for every person less fortunate than me. For my girlfriend. For my friends. For every young girl growing up in a world teaching them that they actually cannot achieve anything. That they are objects. I fear for all those stuck in deeply red states who have to worry for their safety every day. I fear for everyone who is in danger of losing their home. Their rights. Their fundamental human rights. And really, I fear for everyone living in ignorance. What a sad existence it must be to live a life governed by hatred. To lack the privilege of independent thought. Now though, it is time for those of us who can to fight, and keep fighting. We may not live to see the future that we are fighting for, but it is crucial that we carry on. It’s not about us, maybe it never has been. But we are strong. And we are living in this world which is demanding us to take action. I am tired. We are tired. But it is never easy. Yet when we fight for love and we fight for hope, and when we fight together, we truly embody our full power and I have faith that we can make that future that we dream of.