Author: nmyoll

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Navigating Boundaries

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There really isn’t any other way to say it, so I’m just going to say it. I like physical contact…a lot.

I don’t even mean sexual contact. I mean the most basic skin to skin, body to body contact there is. A hug, a handshake, a high five.

I like it when my arms brush against strangers on the street. I love it when my relatives hug me or when a friend comforts me with back rub. I like long embraces and holding hands. I love getting my hair cut at a salon because my hairdresser rubs my scalp with his fingertips. I save up money every semester for a massage at a spa. I feel happy when my yoga teacher touches me to adjust my pose during a class. One of my favorite people to greet is a friend of mine who always gives me a back cracking hug, long and strong as if he hasn’t seen me in years. I love cats and dogs because they’re often affectionate; they want me to pet them, hold them, scratch them behind their ears.

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What the F**k is a Diva Cup?

So this past summer I made a very important purchase, an investment.

I bought myself a Diva Cup.

When I told my mother this she literally replied with “¿De que carajo es una Diva Cup?” – literal translation: What the f**ck is a Diva Cup. She was still confused when I explained it to her, no longer about what it actually is but why I would even want to use it. She said it sounded “dirty” and “gross”. She wasn’t mean about it but I could hear the judgement in her voice. It made her uncomfortable and I understand that. I’m not going to lie, her reaction hurt my feelings and I felt defensive. Yet her response is exactly what I expected to hear.

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(Talk of Menstrual Blood to come!)

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Hello, Flow.

HelloFlo is a company that delivers monthly care packages to women and girls of all ages. Last month they launched a “starter kit” parents can purchase ahead of time and have ready for their daughters’ first periods. The starter kit includes: enough pads and liners to get through a cycle, a “get ready” info guide for parents as well as a separate one for girls, a canvas pouch to take pads on the go, and small goodies and surprises.

HelloFlo aims to ease the pain, discomfort, and embarrassment of periods while simultaneously educating young girls about their bodies and emotions in relation to their menstrual cycles. I think they do a really great job of using humor to break the “hush hush” attitude that usually surrounds menstruation.

Where was this when I was a girl?!

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Do I Control My Hair or Does My Hair Control Me?

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I feel I can safely say that the majority of women I have crossed paths with throughout my lifetime have, at one point or another, completely obsessed over the locks on their heads. What a woman does or does not do with the “filamentous bio-material” that grows from follicles in the skin on one’s skull seems to carry heavy social messages to the world around us.

I believe my hair tells a long and continuous story. The really ridiculous and really awesome things I have done to my hair are like little mental chapter markers; the hairstyles I’ve had are connected to memories of personal struggles and important events that have taken place throughout my lifetime. On one level, the long story of the obsessions I’ve had with my hair and what I have chosen to do with it is purely personal. Yet on another level, a much larger level, this post about the relationship I have with my hair can reflect the many struggles and external pressures that a large number of American women share.

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