crossdressing

by

Do These Pants Make My Ass Look Bisexual?

Why does what I’m wearing define my sexual orientation? I’m a 22-year old female, and I often change the way I dress, even on a day-to-day basis. I may feel like wearing a tight skirt, heels, make-up, and jewelry and shaving my legs on Monday. On Tuesday I might wear sweatpants and a T-shirt and throw my hair in a messy bun, and on Wednesday I may wear a baggy pair of guy’s jeans with paint stains on them, a tank top, and skater shoes but do my hair in a cute way. I enjoy dressing in any way that makes me feel comfortable, and I usually do.

But recently, I got a girlfriend, and even though I dress the same way I’ve always dressed, with my same unique style I’ve always had, I’ve heard some interesting comments, even from people that I know care about me and aren’t trying to be offensive. But if I’m dressed up (and meet society’s beauty standards) I’ll hear people say things like “Are you really a lesbian?” or “I don’t understand how you’re gay” and when I dress down, or “more like a guy” I hear “You’re such a lesbian.”

And I’m not even a lesbian! I’m bisexual!

I feel as though society often judges people as being gay or straight based on what they’re wearing. A recent conversation with my (straight, male) roommates went like this:

Roommate 1: “What are you wearing?”
Me: “Jeans.”
Roommate 2: “She has a girlfriend, she can wear what she wants.”
Roommate 1: “She’s only half-gay.”
Me: “What does that have to do with it?”
Roommate 1: “Well sometimes you dress like the straight half.”

First off, I consider myself a hundred percent gay and a hundred percent straight, and I hate it when people call me “half gay.” It’s not like I find women attractive half the time; I find attractive PEOPLE attractive ALL the time. Second, how come I can only wear “whatever I want” because I have a girlfriend? It’s not like my girlfriend dresses me. Could I wear girls’ jeans if I was a lesbian? Could I wear guys’ jeans if I was straight? Why are my roommates only saying things now? Don’t the same rules apply now as when I was single? Or am I “more gay” when I have a girlfriend?

It’s also weird to me that clothes can make you look gay (“He’s totally gay, look at his pants.”  “I can’t tell if he’s gay or if he just dresses really well…”  “She looks like a dyke in those pants.”) or even make you look straight (“Can you believe he’s gay? He dresses so straight!”) but I have never heard of clothes making you look bisexual. If bisexuality, homosexuality, and heterosexuality are all valid sexual orientations, why don’t our clothes make us look bisexual? Where can I buy pants that make me look like I date boys and girls?

by

Pin-up boys?

A friend sent me this series of men photographed in traditional “pin-up” girl poses. They sure capture the pin-up girl vibe: Look at those arched backs, pursed lips, and inviting gazes!

Yet the difference is obvious: these “pin-up boys” wear jeans and camo and are depicted with traditionally masculine props such as dumbbells and a wrench. What do these recognizable poses on different bodies do for us viewers?

I love these pictures because they subvert the pin-up girl image. Seeing male bodies in pin-up poses takes apart what we’re used to seeing, and for me expose the silliness of pin-up girls while questioning their supposed sexiness. These guys do look silly! We’re used to seeing women with their backs arched and chests thrust out, even in the midst of their regular activities (like vacuuming, apparently). Seeing men in the sam poses while doing their regular activities (fishing? Skateboarding? Talk about the sexual division of labor!) exposes its artificiality; exposes the pin-up girl as the fantasy she is.

Do these men look sexy to you? I think they look funny, which reminds me that “sexy” means different things on different bodies. In U.S. culture, one kind of sexy = slender white women doing chores with their underwear exposed. Does it work in reverse? Do these men look sexy, or goofy and posed?