What Lies Behind a RBF

Little did I know when coming into college how many opinions were really out there regarding my resting face. Who knew that there’d be so many comments and concerns about me when I thought I was simply going about my day-to-day life?

I never thought much about the way that I looked while walking around, minding my own business in public spaces, but apparently, I don’t look as content as I may feel. I remember walking to Potomac Hall, where I lived during my freshman year at UMBC, when an employee from True Grits said, “Having a bad day?” I can’t exactly recall what I said or how the situation occurred, but I believe he followed with “You look mad.” This, of course, caught me completely off guard, and I’ve been aware ever since of how I come off in public spaces.

Truthfully, it bothers me most when my friends mention times that they’ve seen me out and about, unsure of whether I was doing alright or not. I also have a tendency to be ‘in the zone’ when walking about, so not only do I accidentally ignore my friends, but I do so with a certified ‘RBF.’ I always feel terrible and apologize, but times like these can’t help but make me laugh, as I know that my friends can see right through the RBF.

This ties into concepts from Iris Marion Young’s “Throwing Like a Girl: A Phenomenology of Feminine Body Comportment, Motility, and Spatiality,” and how women’s lives are often associated with confinement and enclosure. To those in public spaces who don’t know me personally, it’s probably easy for them to assume that I’m the closed-off, keep-to-myself type. Men may be quicker to assume from looking at my face that I’m not as happy as I actually am. So much is assumed about women based solely on their looks. While women certainly have a whole lot to be angry about, we don’t necessarily aim to visualize our feelings as we go about life on a daily basis.