Like many people, I have encountered many mixed messages regarding medication for mental disorders. It seems like everyone has an opinion; some are adamantly pro-medication, others are more against it. I have anxiety, and the decision to go on medication for it was not a decision I made lightly. In January of 2020 I started taking Celexa, an SSRI. I was miserable; anxious all the time, my panic attacks were occurring more frequently, and my brain just would not turn off. I had insomnia and felt like I was losing my mind.
The first week of taking Celexa was pretty rough. I had a persistent headache and always felt dehydrated, no matter how much water I drank. As the weeks turned into months, the side effects went away, and I did start to feel better. The noise in my head was quieter, and I was better able to manage the physical symptoms of anxiety.
By October, I had started feeling worse. My panic attacks were coming back, so I felt like I needed to increase my dosage. Big mistake. That was a decision I made in the heat of the moment, while I was upset. I got another migraine, this one lasting for days. The dehydration got worse too, and that’s when I decided I didn’t want to do this anymore. Without telling my doctor (I do not condone this, but I can be impulsive sometimes) I started tapering myself off Celexa completely. I decided that the side effects were too much, and that I had learned enough coping mechanisms through psychotherapy that I felt I didn’t need medication anymore.
I did what I felt was right for my body, and I’m so glad I did. My gut was right in telling me that I didn’t need medication anymore. It was tough to deal with my “raw” anxiety, and I still struggle sometimes, but I had truly underestimated the skills I had developed over the past year to combat it. I am headache free, normally hydrated, and my sex drive is back (that was another unfortunate side effect).
I still think medication can be a wonderful thing, and I am an advocate for people doing what they feel is the best choice for them. Everyone is different, and it is important to be informed so you can make the right choice for you. You know yourself better than anyone, so trust your instincts!
Unruly Bodies 
Thank you so much for sharing! Although I’m lucky I don’t have any mental illnesses I do think medication, in general, should be only decided only by the person taking it. With some input from their medical doctor of course. But at the end of the day, the person has to live with their body. Nobody should ever judge another person simply for trying to live the way they think is best.
The photo you used immediately caught my eye! I have taken two of the medications mentioned on it, one of which I am currently taking. I can relate so much to what you describe in your post, unfortunately, and it is comforting to know that I am not alone. I am so happy for you being able to get off of medications by using your coping mechanisms; I hope to get there one day, too, at least with my anxiety.