I had my 21st birthday in the middle of Quarantine, meaning my 20’s have already started out as depressing. As I’m sitting here, trying to figure out what to write, I think it’s very important to recognize what we as a world, and especially as a country, have gone through over the past year. 2020 has been the worst year of many people’s lives, with maybe less specific tragedies numerically, but definitely including one of if not the longest lasting tragedy in recent years. COVID itself has ruined lives and left people broke and begging for help just to survive. I’ve gotten very lucky so far. I haven’t gotten sick, I haven’t had much problems with money, but this year has been tough on everyone.

As I am writing this, I have realized how much depression and anxiety has creeped into everyone’s lives. Motivation is down, way down. Just writing a blog post on time has become nearly impossible. Here I am at 1 am writing this through a combination of Monster and upbeat music just to stay awake. Before 2020, I was definitely not a great student, but I at least had the mindset of getting my assignments and posts in on time. Luckily professors understand this, but it still shows something about how this year has affected me, and I’m relatively mentally stable at the moment.

This entire year has been a ride that I just want to get off! Not in the depression/ hurt myself way, but in the needing a break way. I need to just take a break. This semester is almost over, but the thought of having more years like this in my lifespan is scaring the crap out of me. The idea of having a worse year than 2020 is terrifying. 2020 has already been so shit, but the idea that it can get worse? Wow. Just, wow.