Back in 2019, my healthy active mom started having dizziness attacks that came and went. Eventually, she went to a doctor who misdiagnosed her and sent her home. She contacted her regular doctor when she completely lost hearing in her left ear and couldn’t move because of vertigo and nausea. She was sent to a specialist, had an MRI, and spent months in bed. She gradually recovered, but she had lost all of the hearing in her left ear. While it was scary seeing her so sick, at the time we all thought it was something temporary. She was recovering from an illness, not permanently disabled. As time went on though we realized it was permanent and a disability. She had to stop teaching since the noise made her head ache so badly that she would have to lie down for hours afterward. Going out to loud venues, from restaurants to concerts was too painful. We all learned to stand on her right and to repeat ourselves when needed. 

I also discovered that there are those who just don’t care. One time we walked by a woman at a store who yelled at my mom, “I was next!” When my mother kept on walking, I stopped to explain that there was another register open and that my mom is deaf. The woman’s response was a snort of disgust. I was furious that my mom’s disability could be dismissed with a snort by a person who persisted in believing that she had been wronged. My mother dismissed it as one of the advantages of not always being able to hear. At my brother’s rugby game she couldn’t hear the racist, sexist and homophobic “jokes” made by the people behind us. She has found it freeing in some ways to not always be able to hear. At the same time, she was excited to go to a theater that had headphones available that made it possible for her to understand what the actors were saying. Having a disability often means that people simply accept the difficulties life presents, but there is an amazing feeling of liberty when an accommodation has been made that removes that difficulty. 

My mom’s experience made me realize how much our society is set up based on some undetermined norm of physical ability when in reality our society is made up of people with a wide range of abilities. We tend to only see a disability when it is obvious: someone in a wheelchair or walking with a white cane. While we have the Americans with Disabilities Act, there are many people whose disabilities go unseen or are unsupported, thus making navigating everyday life more difficult. I believe disability can be viewed as a design issue. We can do more to design spaces that accommodate people with varying abilities. For example, at airports and train stations, having announcements displayed on a scrolling screen, would help direct people who are deaf or hard of hearing. Our government, at all levels, needs to require more up-to-date accommodation standards to be incorporated into our public spaces.