“You’re pretty for a Black girl!”
It’s a phrase that many Black women have unfortunately heard at some point in their lives. But what does it mean? Does it mean that the bar is lower for attractiveness among Black women? Does it mean you’re surprised that you find a Black woman attractive? Do you not believe Black women could be apart of the beauty standard?
Being a woman in any society unfortunately means you are already at a systemic disadvantage, but being a Black woman, in America, means that you are going to spend your whole life facing micro aggressions, stereotypes, and baseless claims of why you are a bad person with no opportunity to refute these claims without being seen as aggressive, ghetto, loud, or unwanted.
Being a Black woman means feeling ugly compared to white women around you, wishing you were as pretty as them. Growing up means realizing wishing you were as pretty as them had very little to do with your looks, and almost everything to do with the difference in treatment because of your race. Like Linda Alcoff brilliantly questions in page 23 of her article, “What could be more permanently visible than that which is inscribed on the body itself?”
Even among African Americans, colorism is a ravaging issue across the community, as the lighter, or whiter, your skin is, the more likely you’re deemed to be seen as attractive. Conversely, the darker your skin is, the more you are likely to be deemed unattractive. This is also further exacerbated by the masculinization of Black women. As a whole, we are masculinized, but the darker you are, the more frequent you are likely to experience it.
Why is it deemed shocking for a Black woman to be attractive, but typical for a white woman?
Unruly Bodies 
As a disabled person, I experience very similar things. When a body is deemed to be outside the norm, or undesirable in some way, beauty is separated from it, you’re so pretty for being a part of this group like the group takes away from that beauty. These backhanded comments really show who and what is considered to be desired in society. If there is a contingency for a person’s beauty, their worth is being diminished by the backhandedness.