Before I downloaded Tik Tok, I thought it was just a platform where kids could post videos of themselves doing funny dance moves. However, after finally giving in and downloading the app, I quickly realized that it goes way beyond dancing. I mean there are videos regarding fashion tips, life hacks, recipes, workouts, travel ideas, and clips from your favorite movies and tv shows. Although these topics seem helpful, in reality, they are actually quite alarming and dangerous, especially to our younger generations. These videos make us fall victim to comparison and lead us to think that we have to change our appearance, where we live, how we dress, or what we consume, in order to reach a certain level of satisfaction or worthiness from the rest of society.

Yes, it’s nice to be shown helpful tips and tricks and watch funny clips that give us a good laugh. But, when I scroll through Tik Tok and see videos that are suggesting daily calorie amounts to consume in order to lose weight, I can’t help but pause and think about the dangers that they are causing to the eyes of innocent young girls. The majority of Tik Tok users are middle and high schoolers who fall between the ages of 11-18. Back when I was in middle school, the word “calorie” didn’t exist in my mind because my attention was put towards things in life that brought me joy and happiness instead of fear, guilt, and anxiety. My mind was thinking about what I should look like or how much food I should consume throughout the day. 

I was more focused on hanging out with my friends than how much I weighed or what I was putting in my body. But now, my fear is that social media platforms like Tik Tok are presenting different obstacles to younger generations that are creating serious effects on not only their mental health but their physical health too. 

Now I’m not completely bashing Tik Tok because I do find myself sharing a few laughs and smiles after scrolling through videos but we have to be more aware and cognizant of the content that we’re watching and putting out for the public to see. Whether that’s unfollowing accounts that are lowering your self-esteem or making you feel like you’re not good enough, it’s in the best interest of our younger generations to teach them what is truly important in life and do our best to remove anything from our social media accounts that are trying to convince you to believe otherwise.

I can’t remember the last time I missed an episode of The Bachelor or The Bachelorette. Even though I hate to admit it, it’s more than just a reality tv show. Over the years, it’s really brought out my hopeless romantic side where I’ve caught myself daydreaming about who I’d potentially give my “final rose” to. But, as I’ve had my fair share of relationships, I’ve quickly realized that they never quite looked like the ones that are portrayed on TV. The dates that I’ve been on haven’t involved a private jet or a zipline experience through an exotic rainforest. Although I’d like to say they’ve been meaningful and special, I can’t help but compare them to the ones on The Bachelor and The Bachelorette.

As much as I love this show and all of the beautiful experiences and dates that the contestants get to have, I have to remind myself that it’s not something that I should be comparing my own personal life to. Although the show may seem harmless because it airs once a week, it has the power to reinforce harmful stereotypes that younger generations are using to set their own expectations for relationships.

The ultimate goal of the lucky Bachelor or Bachelorette is to end up engaged to the “love of their life”. We all secretly want that to happen but in reality, most relationships do not result in a proposal two to three months into seeing one another, so why are we always crossing our fingers for this result on the show? By reinforcing this expectation, we also are giving off the impression that the only way to true happiness is through committed heterosexual relationships. However, in 2020, we are seeing that this is far from the case. There are plenty of people that are happily committed to one another, regardless of sexuality, who do not have rings on their fingers. 

Another harmful stereotype that this show reinforces is that love moves at the speed of light. Oftentimes, if the final rose ceremony doesn’t end in a proposal, America seems to be disappointed and unfulfilled by the show. However, love can’t be forced in 6 weeks…and relationships move at different paces so I’m not quite sure why we are shocked to see couples break-up post-show when they’ve only known each other for a short period of time. We need to be able to separate ourselves from what we see on television because it has the power to dictate not only our thoughts but our relationships and attitudes towards our future decisions. 

Now my critiques are not to say that we have to abandon the show, it’s just to say that we need to become more aware of what we’re watching and be able to distinguish it from the real world. I mean you will still find me cuddled up on my couch at 8 pm every Tuesday, waiting to see how Clare approaches the rest of the season. But, I’m able to rest my head on the pillow each night knowing that my personal life and future relationships should not mirror the experiences on the shows. 

Before high school, you would have never caught me working out in the main gym area. I was the shy, anxious teenager that would rather lift weights downstairs in the tiny women’s gym than risk getting judged by the two-hundred-fifty pound bodybuilders that were max squatting close to triple my weight. Even though the women’s gym had limited space and quite frankly the oldest, dingiest equipment, I didn’t want to worry about potentially publicly embarrassing myself in the main gym. As a middle schooler who had never picked up a dumbbell, I was terrified of what others would think of me when I was working out. I had already thought of the worst case scenarios in my head and that was more than enough to keep me from stepping foot in the main lifting area. 

However, looking back, I realized that my anxiety didn’t stem from not knowing how to use the machines or equipment, it came from a place of feeling like an outsider. As a female, I felt intimated because of the preconceived notions of gyms. If you would have asked middle-school me to describe a gym atmosphere I would have said something along the lines of testosterone and sweaty, muscular men. Nowhere in my description would I have mentioned the word “female” and that was largely due to the fact that gyms have been portrayed as gendered spaces. The body standards and expectations that we place on women doesn’t help either.

Growing up, I remember watching a scene from “Full House” and one of the main characters, DJ Tanner, was trying out the gym for the first time. Instead of heading towards the weights, she gravitated towards the treadmill and elliptical. For so long, the ideal female body revolved around skinny legs, small waists, and dainty arms. Women were afraid to get “bulky” and gain muscle because they feared that they would lose their femininity. This lie has kept so many women, including myself, from stepping foot in the gym because they didn’t want to go against the gender stereotypes that have been placed on our society for so long. 

But, as women have started to embrace the gym and step into more male-dominated fields and interests, a new respect has come from it, let alone even more confidence. Personally, I have never felt more confident in myself after I started lifting weights. In 2020, being a size double zero is less of a concern and physical strength has started to float towards the top of the list for females. As we become more accepting of bodies, gender, and sexuality, my hope is that strong can be the new sexy. Let’s work to desexualize the gym and make it a space where both genders feel at home.

It was the first day of practice and my heart was beating out of my chest. Sophomore year was here and I was even more nervous this time around. I came into my fall season with a different kind of butterflies in my stomach.  Yes, I had some nerves about practices and my performance on the field but the root of my anxiety came from my appearance and fitness. “Was I thin enough?”, “Was I fast enough”, “Was I strong enough?”一these questions were constantly floating around in my head.