Men

The Strike and the Silent Pressure on Men
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The Strike and the Silent Pressure on Men

“The Strike” the documentary about the 2013 California Hunger Strikes, I found to be a very captivating and intriguing watch in class. I personally didn’t know about the strikes until we watched the documentary, but I was personally baffled that this was even able to happen to these men in solitary confinement. Watching the documentary, though, I realized a startling truth… most men in society, in many ways, experience a quieter, emotional version of solitary confinement. The men in “The Strike” were put under horrendous conditions by the California prisons; eventually, when word got around that a planned hunger strike was going to take place, it was easy for many to get behind, really, because when you take away someone’s social interaction and time outside and force them to live the same day over and over again, you’re forced to take action on the only thing you have left, the body. For the men, their bodies were the only thing they had control over, so they found a way to rebel by starving themselves for the betterment of their conditions.

While the conditions aren’t the same by any means, men walking free face a similar imprisonment placed on them by the greater society at large. Even though it’s no longer the 1900s anymore, the stigma of men having to be stronger, masculine figures who do not express emotion and provide for the women and children is very much still alive and well. It’s a quieter, more invisible form of imprisonment; boys can’t cry, can’t ask for help, and don’t talk about what hurts because at the end of the day, even if they do talk about what hurts and cry, they show weakness and failure to be a pillar of strength in society’s eyes. And like the men in “The Strike” the only agency they do have is that of their own bodies, throwing that pent-up emotion in the gym, building muscle, cleaving away the pain of their psyche by tearing the muscle fibers keeping them whole. Becoming what society wants, a strong man who doesn’t show weakness, is what true strength is to society.

The reason I’m able to describe how it is, how these invisible bars keep men inside, is because I am one of those men; a subconscious reason of why I started going to the gym is because I was skinny as a twig in middle school, and I was made fun of for my poor posture and the fact that you could see my rib cage with my shirt off. I couldn’t really vent any of these feelings to anyone; my dad is a stoic person who himself doesn’t really express a lot, unless he’s drunk off his rocker. And my mom, who is the complete opposite of my dad, can’t really understand me, even when I try to convey my anger. I just had to shut up and forget. That was in my early development years, and so into middle and high school, I never really talked much. I had friends, but I was known as a quiet kid. It wasn’t until high school that I started taking serious issue with how I looked and how others viewed me. I wanted them to see me as a strong, dependable person, so I started working out. Not choosing to, but was suffering in silence; this was also the time I realized that I hated myself. I distinctly remember telling my friends that I hated myself, after years of never really talking about how I felt. This was how one friend responded to me, “No, you don’t hate yourself.” After this point, I lost faith in trusting others with how I felt when I started putting all that pain and feeling into running and lifting weights. This is how I’ve been living for years now, not really thinking that anyone could or would want to hear what I truly felt. It’s been put into my head, “Men can’t cry,” and I think a lot of other men would resonate with this feeling or story of myself.

Roughly 75% of deaths by suicide in America, Canada, and the UK are by men, and after years of pent-up emotion, the final state a man has to go to rebel is by taking his own life. I myself have faced thoughts of suicide, but never planned for it; it’s only been up until a few months ago that I was able to confide in really close friends about these past feelings. Nothing really gets me to talk much about a certain topic or subject, but I champion and proudly stand for the mental health of men everywhere, to please go and find help, and to realize that it is ok to cry in this painfully messed-up world. While I’ll probably never go through the trials and tribulations of the men in the California hunger strikes, I can connect to the feeling of rebelling against your own body to make a statement to others and having agency over the one thing you can never lose: your body.

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Hitting Women: Thoughts about complaints about Feminism online

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About a month ago, a video of a black woman being slapped by a man on a NYC subway went viral. In the video, the woman and her friends were taunting and bullying a man because he was wearing an 8ball jacket. She was making fun of him right in his face and she hit him with her high-heeled shoe. Shortly after, the man slapped her. Lets just say she was not expecting him to hit her at all. After he hit her, a brawl ensued with another man on the train. It sparked the debate of whether or not it was wrong for a man to hit a woman. Many people firmly believe that men should never hit women. However, many people argued that the girl on the subway deserved to get slapped because she was bullying the man for no reason and hitting him first. Now after watching the video myself the day it was posted and again this week, I’ve noticed many comments from people on YouTube about the hypocrisy of feminism. I found people’s comments about this issue really interesting because I found myself seeing these kinds of comments every time I looked at the comments section of the video.

Here are just a few examples of the comments on the video that I am talking about:

“Feminism is just another excuse/reason for women to act like sluts.”

“Its not just black woman but woman in general. They go around spamming the word feminism and think they are queens. We are all the same, so if you think that if you’re a female and cannot get hit then you are mistaken. If you think you we have to hold a door because your female, you are mistaken. We do it out of respect, courtesy, and proper manners.”

I personally do not believe that this video has anything to do with feminism but I find it interesting that men on the Internet believe there is a connection between the two. Is feminism hypocritical? Is it something that is even remotely related to the topic/issue of men hitting women? I don’t particularly think so. When I first saw the video, I thought to myself that she did deserve to get slapped because she was talking trash to a man who wasn’t doing anything to her and he was minding his own business. She kept coming up to him and hitting him. I think once she hit him first, he had every right to hit her back. While I do not condone violence in any way, I personally feel that if a person hits me, whether it is a man or woman, I have the right to hit that person back. I also think that this girl kept taunting him and hitting because she didn’t think he would retaliate against her. I just think that this woman learned a lesson. Many have argued that it is a lesson that all women today should learn of. The lesson is if you are a woman and you hit a man, or bully him do not expect that he will not hit you back. But is this a lesson that all women in today’s society should learn? We do not live in chivalrous society. I think what it all comes down to is respect and that all men and women should respect each other.

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From “Abs” to Men with a “V”

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I remember in high school that it was “hot” for both guys and girls to have “abs” especially a “six-pack”. It was especially attractive if a guy or a girl had abs at all. It was almost like a major plus. I remember having conversations with my male classmates and they would often talk about going to the gym just to get “abs” so that they could get more girls to notice them and be more sexually attracted to them. However, it seemed to me that they also wanted to get “abs” just so that could feel better about themselves and their own body. It was almost as if they would feel more comfortable in their own skin if they had “abs”. One of my closest friends in high school had “abs”. My friend loved her “abs” because many guys thought that her abs were “hot”. She would always talk about how her abs really turned guys on when she would have sex with them. Having other guys express their excitement and arousal towards her body and her “abs” really made her feel good about herself. It often makes me wonder if those same guys would feel the same if she did not have “abs” and her stomach was just flat.

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Trust your body

About a month ago I went to visit my Doctor for the first time in about 5 years. I found after a certain age my primary physician was replaced by my gynecologist.

In general I think I’m healthy other than once a year getting the common cold or flu. Since the beginning of this semester I hadn’t been feeling my normal self. I had been suffering from stomachaches constantly, feeling exhausted even after a full night rest and suffering from headaches daily.

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It is interesting to watch the way prescription drugs are consumed in America. We tend to obsess over the benefits of prescriptions and gloss over the possible side effects. Every commercial for a prescription drug is required to announce the side effects, but who can actually hear them? There is usually a man with low-pitched voice racing through the possible inconveniences as if they are minor possibilities.

Apart from a 4 hour erection, Viagra can also cause loss of vision, diarrhea, dyspepsia, and dizziness. It can also be fatal when taken with other drugs, especially drugs for heart related health problems. This information is not commonly discussed. Every commercial has the side effects mention as mandated by the FDA. It is the consumers responsibility to understand these side effects, ask questions, and take necessary precautions. Unfortunately, as a society we are more eager to reap the benefits then we are to take caution over the adverse effects.

I felt that Viagra was a great attention grabber for this post, but this is greater than the erection verses vision debate. There are so many prescriptions out there for a wide range of serious and minor illnesses that have side effects of varying degrees of significance. We have become comfortable putting chemicals in our body for self medication or as instructed by a health professional without thinking about the consequences. I don’t remember ever pausing to think that my aspirin can give me stomach ulcers before consuming it. Whether it is an over the counter drug or a prescription medication, we need to pay closer attention to the warnings labels, especially if the drug is a personal desire and not necessary for health maintenance, like Viagra or Latisse.