sick bodies

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Bedroom.

A view from my bed [ID: Hazy photograph of a window illuminated by vibrant red and purple lighting. In the center there is an electric candelabra sitting on the window sill, slightly obscured by sheer curtains.]

2011 was the year I began distancing. By which I mean, I began a life lived from my twin bed, fueled by goldfish crackers and electrolyte drinks, seldom able to access the outside world. It wasn’t mine to call home anymore.

I was drowning in conditions that these doctors hardly knew about. I had no choice but to become my own doctor, nurse, and historian. More than anything, I became my own community.

The outside world was stolen from me by sickness, uncertainty, and administrative violence – this world was never built for my survival. Such predicaments were met with constant calls to push through – go into the world anyways, risk it all for a “normal” life. They said adapting to it would make me better. It wrecked my body and my mind. Being bedridden was extraordinarily taxing and painful in a way that cannot be understood by those who have not been fully immersed in it in this way, yet. But I am inseparable from my bedroom life, I am made of soft pillows and the world I built among them. 

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Drinking, Nausea, and the Disciplined Body

Back in the day, I used to binge drink on a weekly basis and in turn would often end up vomiting every few weeks from drinking too much. This led me to eventually develop a regiment for dealing with the nausea that is associated with such excessive drinking, but for the most part I had forgotten about it when I stopped binge drinking several years ago. Then a few weeks ago I was out drinking with my partner and some friends and upon return home I became very nauseous. I immediately fell into my old pattern for dealing with this nausea and carried it out, refusing my partner’s help and leaving to fall asleep alone.

The next day, I began reflecting on how this pattern of mine was a situation where I experienced the disciplined body to deal with some illness. Continue reading →

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Life in the Petri Dish: Sickness and Acadamia

       There is a double standard when it comes to health and school. On one hand, a sick person is encouraged to stay home and get better. It is in the best interest of not only you, as the sick person, but also your peers, as the classroom is a haven for uncovered coughs and sneezes without the extra help. You can afford to miss one day! On the other, you really can’t.

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