Feeling like an Impostor

Among Us Impostor, used for clickbait but also to show an impostor

There are some days where I know I am this intelligent, capable, hardworking woman I strive to be. But on most days, I find myself doubting those facts. I find myself wondering how I even made it this far? If I were so smart, why do I feel so dumb all the damn time?

As a woman in computer science, I often doubt my own capabilities. I feel like I am slower at understanding basic concepts in comparison to other students. I feel like I am always lost and the deadweight of the group. Any high scores on any exams I received were out of luck. Maybe my friends were deceived, I don’t know what I am doing. I just think I am so incompetent in everything I do.

Maybe they are right, I don’t deserve to be in this field.

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Is Our Campus Allergic to Accesibility?

I am an able-bodied person. I take advantage of this fact every day of my life as I walk around campus. At times I get winded or my legs hurt, but for the most part, I have no trouble walking to my classes, the dining hall, or common spaces on campus. As such, it is not immediately obvious to me and other able-bodied people around me how inaccessible this campus is. Every single one of my daily routes involves stairs. I hate them, but I can climb them. This is not the case for everyone on campus.

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Creating Spaces

Being a part of a university really showed me the importance of having your own “space.” I mean I always knew that it was nice to feel like you were part of a group of friends or whatever but I didn’t realize the impact and the importance of this. By space I mean a place that you feel safe, valued, heard, welcomed, accepted and so on. Its only in college that I really understood the profound difference it makes in peoples lives to feel included in something or to feel a sense of belonging, even if its only in one small group of people who share your interests.  Continue reading

Late is better than never…

I was sitting here in the library, realizing that Sunday is way past when this last blog was due, riddled with fear and insecurities. To be perfectly honest, that is how I have felt this entire semester sitting in class. Tangled in fear, feeling incredibly inadequate and extremely confused as to why someone like me was sitting in a class full of incredibly complex thinkers… Maybe I should explain why…

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