There was a week, once, where I slept near a big glowing cross, and the light shone sideways through thick panes patterned with a wiry crosshatch. The sheets smelled like sickness and clean, and at night you could see the Domino Sugar sign–big for a billion miles away.
Month: October 2013
The Girl That Fat Built
So much of my identity has been shaped by my body and the way the world around me has treated it that I often find myself wondering, “If I’d had a different body, who would I be now?”
Some of my earliest painful memories are of becoming aware of my weight as an issue—my parents’ noticeable concern for my young and rapidly changing body, being called fat by my peers, the inability to share clothes with friends, the list goes on.
As my fat seemed to be under attack by the world around me, I subconsciously began to fashion armor around it. My attempts at protecting myself began with denial, not letting myself believe I was a “fat kid.” At eight years old, I still had the sense that I was fantastic and beautiful and I wasn’t ready to give that up. However, as people grew meaner and more eager to inform me that I wasn’t as beautiful as I thought I was, I came to a sort of sad acceptance.
But because I was a rambunctious and attention-seeking kid, I decided that maybe I could use being fat to my advantage. Continue reading
Project Clothesline
Project Clothesline is a nationwide project that documents the experiences of survivors of sexual abuse and assault. Survivors and people who knew victims make T-shirts about their experiences. These shirts are then displayed publicly to highlight the issue of violence against women.
Project Clothesline at UMBC
The Women’s Center at UMBC takes part in this project. The shirts are displayed twice a year. During relationship violence awareness month in October, and again for sexual violence awareness month in April. I saw the clothesline last year, and it really hit me.
No more ignoring fat bodies [warning: rape]
It seems to me that no one ever thinks about this, or they never want to talk about it. I want to talk about it. I think it needs to be written down, passed around, and heard over and over again until we replace our present beliefs with the truth.
Because I am My Body
Looking through everyone’s blog posts and the internet there is obviously a huge increase in talking about fatness, thinness and everything in between.
I think I realized what is starting to annoying me with it all.
I don’t have to love my body.
Was It Worth The Laught?
Is it really funny to say I’m scared to pass her because she might eat me?
Is it ok to say she is so fat we took a picture of her last Christmas and its still printing?
Is it really funny to say she is so fat even Dora can’t explore her?
Snug as a bug in a…thing that shouldn’t be in your ear
Almost exactly nine months ago I made a spontaneous decision. This is rare for me. I like to research, I like to Google something until all the links are purple from me visiting them. I’ll ask other people about things, I’ll read books on it, I’ll run through scenarios in my head for days before an event happens to try to think of all the possible outcomes and reactions. It makes me indecisive but it’s my process and it keeps me from freaking out. Very rarely do I do something without agonizing about it first, and much less often does it involved sticking needles in my face. Continue reading
Fursuiting: Creating Your Own Body
photo by kium on deviantART
If you’ve been around the internet for any extended period of time, or even if you happened by the Baltimore Convention Center around Bronycon or Otakon, you probably have seen or heard of “furries.” Furries, by definition, are individuals who are interested in the idea of anthropomorphic animals. They may merely appreciate furry art, or may draw it themselves. Some have furry characters representing themselves or multiple facets of their personality as “fursonas.” Some individuals may even identify with the animals portrayed or with animals in general more than they identify with being human. Individuals anywhere on this scale may create or commission costumes called “fursuits,” which vary in style, materials, and design.
What I find so interesting about the concept of fursonas and accompanying fursuits is the idea that it is possible, within this community and perhaps outside of it, to create an entirely new, self-constructed, and even non-human body to represent the individual as seen by the rest of the world.
I had knee surgery.
Seriously, how did she manage to make crutches so alluring?
I love my body (most of the time)
Sometimes when I look in the mirror I don’t always like what I see. Sometimes my jeans are too tight, sometimes my thighs jiggle too much, sometimes I just feel downright ugly. Continue reading
Unruly Bodies 