Constant microaggressions is something that really is a shared experience. My introduction to phenomenology was not that microaggressions takes a large toll. Microaggressions are comments that can be so subtle even I shake it off and disregard it with expression and then internalize it. Whenever I read something in this class, I always find myself reflecting on experiences and realizing how quickly I will “simply” internalize it and not express the discomfort. I put the term simply in quotes because how simple can it be to internalize the feeling of being put in a majority when you are not the same as every person in that majority? For me, the word “simply” in that context is the repeated, chronic discrimination is something that I have had to deal with my entire life. There is never a time when I think about what would be the outcome of this everyday internalized discrimination against myself.
“Perceptual practices can be organized, like bodily movements used to perform various operations, into integrated units that become habitual.”
Alcoff, Linda Martin. “Towards a phenomenology of racial embodiment.”
Alcoff’s article made me critically think about my own and shared experiences with discrimination. In her article, I took away a new perception about microaggressions. I think this shift is because of that “simple” term I mentioned before. Someone in a constant routine usually will start to be able to do those things with so much ease that it becomes automatic. So automatic I never thought about these costs. An emotional performance is put on when faced with microaggressions. An example is suppressing anger. Something you are constantly emotionally performing for is something that takes on the body. That constant suppression can lead to a breakdown and an overwhelming feeling that makes you feel exhausted. Some days there will just be all those performances that take a toll on self-efficacy.
Unruly Bodies 
Your reflection captures the weight of what it means to constantly carry microaggressions and the emotional performances that come with them. I really appreciate how you highlighted the word “simply,” because it reveals how something that looks small or ordinary from the outside is actually layered with years of internalized trauma and resentment. The way you connected Alcoff’s phenomenology to lived experience shows just how deeply embodied these struggles are—how suppression becomes routine, yet continuously breaks a person down. It’s powerful that you named the exhaustion and breakdowns that can follow, because those are the hidden costs that often go unseen. Your response shows that microaggressions are not fleeting moments, but ongoing burdens that shape both emotion and body. Thank you for sharing.
While I am a minority myself, most people probably wouldn’t be able to tell just by looking at me. It must be extremely stressful at times to be a person of color and have to constantly wonder whether something was meant to be offensive or not. As a chronic overthinker myself, I know that I tend to spend time picking apart comments and conversations about pretty much anything. I can’t imagine how much more stressful this would be while trying to figure out if racism was hidden behind something said. I always wonder why people who possess such rash opinions, such as racist ones, aren’t typically loud and proud about it. Is it because they know that it’s wrong? Because they’re scared of the backlash? Who really knows?
You’re not alone! Constantly internalizing and not speaking about the discomfort would be my middle name. And then question myself like why didn’t you speak up for yourself or why didn’t you say anything about being/feeling uncomfortable in certain micro-aggressive situations. It’s like when you get done an argument and think of all the best things you could’ve said in the moment and now you cant because the arguments over.
This resonates with me as a Black woman who has experienced many microaggressions, From being told that I am being “hostile” to comments about my hair disguised as a compliment. Many times I have had to be calm and not react in that moment because it will “prove” the “hostile” allegations, in my case the “angry Black woman” stereotype. That kind of suppression of emotions really does walk around with you. This makes me think about the concept of emotional labor and how people can use this lens to understand the impact of microaggressions. The process of managing and suppressing emotions in response to subtle forms of discrimination requires constant effort (which in fact is very exhausting as you mentioned) often to maintain professionalism or avoid stereotype threats.
I agree with this entire post, it’s so unhealthy to just wipe away and suppress the emotions that come with microaggressions. You are stuck in this constant battle of whether to let it slide or actually say something, if you say something you don’t want to perpetuate a harmful stereotype or you will be told that you are being “too sensitive” It just further dehumanizes women of color that often go through this, we aren’t allowed that grace to react like a human should. We are expected to be stoic and just take it. This is such a random example, but it reminds me of this reality tv show that I recently watched, where this black woman was a fairly calm and chill vibe and there was public debate on social media about her demeanor being fake because people could not believe that she could possibly have a calm personality. The one time she got upset about something, many people on the internet fully believed that her being angry was her true self and they began to spew hate. Overall, it’s like we often can’t catch a break, we are damned if we do and damned if we don’t.
The point you made about suppressing emotions becoming automatic really stuck with me its something that can wear you down over time and its really frustrating. Its something to deal with everyday something thats on the back of your head, something that distracts you from everyday work.