I have chronic migraines. I got diagnosed when I was probably around 13 or 14, but I’ve never felt like I could call myself disabled or claim identity with the chronic illness/pain communities. It’s not that I feel put off by those labels– I’ve done plenty of introspection on that, to make sure that the reason I didn’t feel comfortable with those labels wasn’t because of some subconscious bias. Rather, I feel like my migraines just aren’t bad enough, don’t affect my life severely enough to “count.” I feel like claiming those labels would be exaggerating, or speaking over someone who “fits” better than I do. 

Which is stupid, by the way. I essentially live my daily life with a near-constant headache clocking in between 1-4 on the pain scale, with occasional spikes to higher levels. When it escalates to a migraine, I get nauseous and can’t eat or drink for a day or more, until it goes away. Before a migraine hits, I often get visual aura, which looks like TV static taking up most of my vision. During a migraine, I become extremely sensitive to sounds and smells, and I get so photosensitive that, especially combined with the visual disturbances, I can become effectively blind for several hours. Depending on weather patterns, stress, and other situational factors, I average between 3-10 true migraine episodes per month, with other severe headaches in between for spice. This has impacted my academics, my work life, my social life, my mental and physical health and development, etc. Everything. Like, what part of that experience doesn’t sound disabling??? And yet, I struggle to feel justified in identifying as such.