Shallowness, Not Happiness

Throughout my twenty two years on this planet, weight and food has been a majority fixture and topic of social life. There are so many diet ads that promise the key to a happy and healthy life. They insinuate that when you lose weight, you will become a totally different person.

During my eighth grade year of middle school, I lost a lot of my baby fat and experienced just how true this insinuation was. I find it sad and shallow, that it’s true. The majority of societies really do treat you differently once you look different, in their opinion, “a good way”. As soon as I went through this transformation, everyone at my school suddenly wanted to be my friend. I do not exaggerate that over the duration of two days, half my school started adding me on xanga and tagged ( social media sites that were popular in 2005 , especially for young people). It seemed as if I had become a different person or something, because I was not only accepted into the “cool crowd”, but wanted! And I could never feel very comfortable with myself, because I could not forget the fact that  my personality had not changed, only my body. Each new “friendship” that was beginning always had a sense of fakeness; the pressure to be a certain way and act a certain way. Which just made it harder to find and create genuine connections.

I don’t feel that having a desirable body is the key to happiness, but I do believe society’s shallow behavior and actions do support and shore up the social and class roles regarding fat and beauty/happiness. Unfortunately I am quite aware that with the career path I have chosen, I will be forced to come across these ideas and views constantly. As an actor, you are required to be fit (not just for scenes, but also for the strenuous exercises and movement involved).

Princess Joules

A few days ago, I have rediscovered one of my favorite YouTube bloggers, Princess Joules (Julie Vu). Princess Joules has been documenting her transition from male-to-female for about 3 years. About 5 months ago, she went under sex reassignment surgery and made a complete transition. What I love about her videos is that she is honest about her experiences. In the video below, she tells us about her feelings as she is an hour away from surgery.In class, we’ve read about how a transgender person must have a psychological assessment done before they are approved for sex reassignment surgery. I personally felt that it was upsetting that they had to prove that surgery was necessary; society should not be able to police our bodies, especially when we know ourselves best. However, Princess Joules tells us the truth about her feelings – something that most of us would not expect…

After seeing this video, a few questions came to mind:

  • Before Princess Joules came out as transgender, she came out as a gay male. I want to know if surgery changed her perception of her own sexuality. Because she believes that, internally, she is a female and belongs in a female body, and she is now a legal female, is her sexuality labelled as straight?
  • How do most transgender people define their sexuality after their transition into their true selves?
  • If we completely got rid of gender roles, gender, and sexuality (LGBT), how would we define our self?

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American Horror Story: Freak Show

I absolutely love these interviews that American Horror Story is putting out on YouTube. It definitely gives us a perspective on how those with unique bodies, view their own bodies, and learn to accept their own bodies.

I hate to be That person, but…

Being 4’11 and currently 90 pounds, I have never received so much body shaming and hate as I did when I was at Mary Baldwin College, an all-female school I attended freshman year. I thought that being at an all-female school, that the females would have mutual understanding, and respect one another. That they would be strong supporters of self-ownership, and believe that whatever we choose to do with our bodies should be our business. But what I found was the complete opposite. Continue reading →

From “Abs” to Men with a “V”

Abercrombie1

I remember in high school that it was “hot” for both guys and girls to have “abs” especially a “six-pack”. It was especially attractive if a guy or a girl had abs at all. It was almost like a major plus. I remember having conversations with my male classmates and they would often talk about going to the gym just to get “abs” so that they could get more girls to notice them and be more sexually attracted to them. However, it seemed to me that they also wanted to get “abs” just so that could feel better about themselves and their own body. It was almost as if they would feel more comfortable in their own skin if they had “abs”. One of my closest friends in high school had “abs”. My friend loved her “abs” because many guys thought that her abs were “hot”. She would always talk about how her abs really turned guys on when she would have sex with them. Having other guys express their excitement and arousal towards her body and her “abs” really made her feel good about herself. It often makes me wonder if those same guys would feel the same if she did not have “abs” and her stomach was just flat.

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Apprearance Matters

Most people think of appearance as a way of caring how much control has over your mind, your body and your life. Even though that many believed in the quote that says “it matters how you perform, not how you look”, in real life, that is not necessary true. Others do perceive you, and even how they think about you. Technically, I think that sometimes people really should not dress how they feel, but how they want to feel. Clothing is sometime that in creating the positive impressions, it can increase your perceived status among other people. The way you choose to dress sending messages to those other folks around you, but also to yourself. Caring how you dress will make you a more responsible, involved, approachable and confident. You really don’t want to dress up silly to embarrass yourself, nor troublesome others.

A doctor’s view on health

I’ve always been active. In high school I was a year round athlete and my body reflected this. Looking back on pictures I can hardly believe that I looked like that because I always saw myself as huge. According to my weight which was 15-30 pounds higher than my friends I thought that I was so much larger than I was at 135 pounds, I had an extremely warped view on my body. Now as a senior in college I have gained about 20 pounds and it is a continuous struggle to love myself. There are days I stand in front of my mirror and feel empowered and beautiful and strong and there are days when I’m getting dressed with friends or looking at old pictures that I feel like somehow I’m failing, but why do I think that way? Continue reading →

I Am My Hair.

How I feel with my new hair.

“The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries or the way she combs her hair.” –Audrey Hepburn

Although these words spoken by one of the most beautiful women in history are all nice and feel-good-y, modern-day society disagrees wholeheartedly. That being said, my apprehension and hesitance to cut my hair short wasn’t exactly atypical. Continue reading →