Body language is something we haven’t really talk about during class, Continue reading
society
Hitting Women: Thoughts about complaints about Feminism online
About a month ago, a video of a black woman being slapped by a man on a NYC subway went viral. In the video, the woman and her friends were taunting and bullying a man because he was wearing an 8ball jacket. She was making fun of him right in his face and she hit him with her high-heeled shoe. Shortly after, the man slapped her. Lets just say she was not expecting him to hit her at all. After he hit her, a brawl ensued with another man on the train. It sparked the debate of whether or not it was wrong for a man to hit a woman. Many people firmly believe that men should never hit women. However, many people argued that the girl on the subway deserved to get slapped because she was bullying the man for no reason and hitting him first. Now after watching the video myself the day it was posted and again this week, I’ve noticed many comments from people on YouTube about the hypocrisy of feminism. I found people’s comments about this issue really interesting because I found myself seeing these kinds of comments every time I looked at the comments section of the video.
Here are just a few examples of the comments on the video that I am talking about:
“Feminism is just another excuse/reason for women to act like sluts.”
“Its not just black woman but woman in general. They go around spamming the word feminism and think they are queens. We are all the same, so if you think that if you’re a female and cannot get hit then you are mistaken. If you think you we have to hold a door because your female, you are mistaken. We do it out of respect, courtesy, and proper manners.”
I personally do not believe that this video has anything to do with feminism but I find it interesting that men on the Internet believe there is a connection between the two. Is feminism hypocritical? Is it something that is even remotely related to the topic/issue of men hitting women? I don’t particularly think so. When I first saw the video, I thought to myself that she did deserve to get slapped because she was talking trash to a man who wasn’t doing anything to her and he was minding his own business. She kept coming up to him and hitting him. I think once she hit him first, he had every right to hit her back. While I do not condone violence in any way, I personally feel that if a person hits me, whether it is a man or woman, I have the right to hit that person back. I also think that this girl kept taunting him and hitting because she didn’t think he would retaliate against her. I just think that this woman learned a lesson. Many have argued that it is a lesson that all women today should learn of. The lesson is if you are a woman and you hit a man, or bully him do not expect that he will not hit you back. But is this a lesson that all women in today’s society should learn? We do not live in chivalrous society. I think what it all comes down to is respect and that all men and women should respect each other.
Black and Yellow Black and Yellow
In class I was secretly, desperately hoping we would discuss people of mixed race. I am Korean and African-American. My mom is from South Korea and my dad is from Louisiana. I have identity issues. Continue reading
I think about this class at the bar… is that weird?
Bars are weird places for bodies, especially for me and my female body. In most other places there are standard rules about how it’s okay to touch someone, what to say to someone, how to interact with someone. But when it comes to the bar it seems as if this all gets jumbled, thrown in the air and mixed up. Of course people have different thoughts about what is okay when it comes to touching their body especially when drinking. But the bar is this weird social environment where things get a little tricky. There’s dancing, it’s crowded, there’s alcohol… and things seem to go wrong… a lot
Body Acceptance
“The image that concerns most people is the reflection they see in other people’s minds.”
― Edward De Bono
How do we really succeed full confidence in our bodies with society’s specific vision? This is a question I have recently been asking myself. It is more recent because before I had never thought that I had a choice of the way my body should look. This is because growing up I had always been told what it is to be a lady and how my body should look in order to be accepted. I have always been super self conscience when it comes to my weight because in my household weight seemed to be a revisited topic. For me because I was always an “overweight” child. I usually got compared to my fit and muscular brother. He passionately played football so I was also expected to passionately play a sport. I was always strongly pushed to play a sport because of my thicker figure, with hopes I would loose weight or not gain any. I was constantly compared to my brother and what my parents and society told me was the ideal shape.
Having society’s ideal and “normal” weight always shown and told to me, it is the hardest thing to really except being different from that expectation. I have many days where I love and embrace my thick and curvier shape. Other days I constantly dwell on how I look compared to those of the more ideal weight. Even when someone is thicker, there always is an appearance expectation. The fashion always is supposed to be kept up rather than the expectations from someone who is already at ideal shape. It is a struggle in which I still look to accept how I feel about my body rather then persuaded by society’s perception. Is there really a full and complete way to accept our personal own body type? Even when we are up against what a body should be and look like concerning doctors, health,and society. I always wonder will there be a body type acceptance for all.
Princess Joules
A few days ago, I have rediscovered one of my favorite YouTube bloggers, Princess Joules (Julie Vu). Princess Joules has been documenting her transition from male-to-female for about 3 years. About 5 months ago, she went under sex reassignment surgery and made a complete transition. What I love about her videos is that she is honest about her experiences. In the video below, she tells us about her feelings as she is an hour away from surgery.In class, we’ve read about how a transgender person must have a psychological assessment done before they are approved for sex reassignment surgery. I personally felt that it was upsetting that they had to prove that surgery was necessary; society should not be able to police our bodies, especially when we know ourselves best. However, Princess Joules tells us the truth about her feelings – something that most of us would not expect…
After seeing this video, a few questions came to mind:
- Before Princess Joules came out as transgender, she came out as a gay male. I want to know if surgery changed her perception of her own sexuality. Because she believes that, internally, she is a female and belongs in a female body, and she is now a legal female, is her sexuality labelled as straight?
- How do most transgender people define their sexuality after their transition into their true selves?
- If we completely got rid of gender roles, gender, and sexuality (LGBT), how would we define our self?
I’m a girl…I can still ask you out, right? Is that weird? Oh. Oops.
This past Friday I finally had a date with the guy I really liked for about six months, who also happens to live in Pennsylvania. I don’t fall for people very often..but when I do, I fall HARD. We’re talking send-a-care-package-in-the-mail-just-because-you-have-a-busy-semester kind of hard. And folks, it went horribly on Friday. I’ve been putting the list of things in my head that made this night turn into a similar scenario to the bombing of Pearl Harbor (maybe I’m a bit dramatic..but here it is):
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Limping
Six weeks after meniscus repair surgery, I am currently re-learning how to walk. Actually, I can already walk, but with a limp – I’m re-learning how to walk “properly.” That is, like a princess, like Audrey Hepburn in Roman Holiday. Several times a week, in front of a floor-to-ceiling mirror either at my physical therapists’ office or at home, I slowly take steps, deliberately bending and straightening my legs in a precise, exaggerated motion. According to my doctor and physical therapists, I have to re-learn how to hold my leg perfectly, 180 degrees-straight within a few weeks or else I’ll be stuck with an essentially permanent limp. Truth be told, the prospect of a lifelong limp is frightening enough to scare me into doing my draining physical therapy exercises, which I had otherwise been avoiding. Suddenly, I feel strong motivation to get fully invested in my exercises and “get better.”
Why Do I Feel So Guilty?
It is always the same scenario. Someone who is either blind, struggling to guide their way throughout the bus with their walking stick tapping the ground in a rhythmic motion, or someone who cannot walk, as the bus driver has to take the extra minutes to load that individual in a wheelchair into the front of the vehicle. While all this is happening, I usually look away uncomfortably. But the question is why? I’ve decided to answer with that I feel guilty. But why should I feel guilty? I haven’t contributed to what society calls their “disability”. But somehow I feel somewhat responsible for the way the blind can never see the beautiful scenery during a hike, or the deaf may never be able to hear the wonderful melodies embedded in music. Maybe it’s the fact that I enjoy these pleasures, that it is tearing me inside. Sometimes I wish it was me . . . . that I was blind, deaf, lame, dumb and so on. I feel that then the guilt would disappear because I would be stripped of the “pleasures” society says that I have.
But are the disabled really suffering? Is that a legitimate cause for me to feel guilty? The strange thing is, I only feel this way towards disabled individuals that are strangers to me. I know at least one person very well that is disabled. And I wouldn’t even call her “disabled” because she is so driven and strong. She doesn’t seem to experience any limitations and boldly reaches for the same opportunities that I or any other “normal” person would want. Because of that, I feel no sense of guilt around her, she greatly inspires me. Maybe if I stopped to look at the “disability” of others and feel sorry and crappy about it, as society has so often told us to do, I would see greatness and not sympathy.
To be honest, I never dared to express my thoughts on my guilt toward disabled people. To me, I thought it was inappropriate to do so. But now letting all my thoughts out here in this post for the first time, I’ve realized that it is society that is causing my guilt, not the disabled. The disabled are not telling me to feel sorry for them, society is; the disabled are not telling me to look away, society is; the disabled are not telling me they are not enjoying life, society is. And looking back on it, the way society is downgrading the disabled is really shattering.
Mirror, Mirror
Mirror, mirror on the wall,
who is the fairest one of all?
Is it the one over there, that skinny girl
or the one with the curves who should give the title a whirl?
Does it go to those wearing the latest brands
or those from the thrift store stands?
People who embrace their “natural beauty”
or those who wear make up as if its their destined duty?
Those dressed nice and straight laced
or those who take trends and happily deface.
…
Snow White you say?
Are you sure your opinion does not sway?
What makes her so special?
Her beauty is not so pure!
She sleeps with 12 men
and never goes outdoors…
(If you argue, take a look
at her skin which is as white as paper in a book)
No. I should not be crude.
My self worth is not based on how she is viewed.
Insulting her does not make me happy
it just makes me seem crabby.
No amount of name-calling will that change
I can only assess the problem in front of me, this issue I estrange
How dare you say I am not beautiful, not the fairest?!
You have no proof on that, I do suggest.
More than that, I know you’re wrong,
In my mind and heart your words do not belong.
I am beautiful, I do declare.
Your opinion, forever more, I do forswear.
Unruly Bodies 