I have learned so much about gender since I have been at UMBC, including outside of class. Before my first GWST class in the Fall 2019 semester, Introduction to Sexuality Studies, I had never even heard of the basic distinction between gender identity and assigned or biological sex. I am happy to say that I have come such a long way, although it is a lifelong time of learning, as gender and the language use to describe it is constantly evolving and changing.
Continue readingAuthor: bearisbackyall
Coming out as queer to various loved ones (Pt. 2)
TW: transphobia, homophobia, biphobia, dysphoria
“I fell in love with a woman,” I distinctly remember my (then) fiancé saying. That was back in early 2019 when I told him I was beginning to question my gender identity. I mentioned that I might consider taking testosterone someday in the distant future, and that’s when he blew up. If I wasn’t going to be a woman, then he didn’t want to be with me, he said. Soon after having that unpleasant interaction, I received a package I had ordered, which sounded like they could be pills. “Is this testosterone?!” he accused angerly. The exceptional fury took me by surprise. I told him that, no, it was not in fact testosterone pills (do such things even exist?), and opened the package to show him.
Continue readingComing out as queer to various loved ones (Pt. 1)
TW: transphobia, homophobia, biphobia
To put my queer experience in a nutshell: I came out as bisexual in 2018, and trans in 2019/2020. In my family, my mom is the only one who knows either. Since coming out and being out to most people, I have felt like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I can finally be true to myself and stop living a lie around close people in my life. That does not extend to my father or any part of my extended family. When I say family, I am referring to birth/biological family, but as I say: blood, genetics, nor genes mean shit about who is really family.
Continue readingTrans Doubt and Acceptance (9/25)
TW: dysphoria
I am trans… or am I??? Part of me knows that I undeniably am. I have had dysphoria for years, although I did not know what dysphoria was or even what being transgender meant. But even still, that tiny voice in the back of my mind likes to sow seeds of doubt in my thoughts. Maybe it’s denial, internalized transphobia, fear, or some other mix of emotions.
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Unruly Bodies 