I love my fuzz

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Hello! I am a mammal!

I have never particularly enjoyed shaving. Growing up, its importance was never stressed. In fact, my mom would tell me she was happy it was winter because it meant she didn’t have to shave — the impression I got was that she didn’t really like to do it, herself. When I was a preteen, she bought me razors and shaving gel, but didn’t pressure me to use them, and shaving didn’t seem to be a rite of passage among my peers, the way buying a bra was. I was in no rush to do it myself.  Continue reading

Stop Faking Your Fake Disease

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Disassociation and depersonalization are one of the most controversial topics in the field of psychology. Let’s start with the basics and define some terms. Depersonalization is when your mind becomes disconnected from your body in such a fashion so that you feel as if you are watching yourself

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Something to think about.

At the beginning of the semester, I had no idea what to expect to learn in this class. It took me a little while to get used to thinking about the body in different ways, but I can say that I’m glad I did. From the information I have learned in this class, I’ve been able to look at issues in the world with a different lense, and I think that is so imortant.

Because I’ve learned so much about all of these topics, I’ve actually gotten in some interesting conversations with my mom. Continue reading

Feeling My Body

Lying on the cold ground outside of Penn Station on Thursday night, surrounded by activists chanting “We Can’t Breathe” as I chanted those very same words myself, I felt my body. I couldn’t say how many times it has happened other than to say that it rarely does, and if you asked me to describe the feeling now, I couldn’t for the life of me. I call it a feeling and not an experience because that’s what it is: a feeling. Everything else seems like an experience in comparison. The magic in feeling my body is that I am not in control of it. It just happens to me. It feels as though there’s a shift in my being in which I go from experiencing my body through my consciousness to actually feeling my body, being my body. Continue reading

Schools are not for the disabled

Our last class discussion really had me thinking about how un-accessible schools really are. Not only in physical lay out but also in policies and attitudes and I wanted to talk about it a little more. For students with mental disabilities there’s the issue of “proving” that you have an issue that could affect you in class, going to the doctor’s, reporting it with the school where it is then on file, then outing yourself to your professors which can be very stressful for someone. Also once you talk with a professor it is a guessing game on whether they will be accommodating or act like you are taking away from others. For those with physical disabilities our campus is not designed for easy access while getting around, our desks are small and uncomfortable and overall there is just so many obstacles to overcome.

Class also made me think about things we don’t often attribute to this issue. Bigger individuals, whether it be height or weight, have a hard time fitting into the desks and yet it is not thought of as an issue. The same goes for pregnant women who are not given appropriate accommodations, they face a variety of issues such as discomfort/ pain, fatigue, doctor’s appointments, sickness etc. and teachers often don’t think of them as needing any help.

The school as a whole is often set up to work best for someone who can afford tuition, is young, able bodied, can live on campus, doesn’t have to work, and takes the classes their adviser tells them to. But what about the people who don’t fit into this. I’m young and luckily I’ve gotten through college without much trouble but thinking about it critically I can find times where I was seen as a nuisance because I didn’t fit into the appropriate mode. I am on scholarship so I have to take a certain amount of credits and get a certain GPA, also I take more than the needed amount of credits because my scholarship only lasts until the end of this year. I also have to work in order to get through college and I’ve been told many times I should quit my job, or I need to just stay in school longer and take more classes even though that’s not a possibility for me. Commuting also opens up problems that students face. There’s only a small number of students who fit into the accepted form and yet nothing is being done to change how we deal with all of the others.

I don’t know if we have one already but if not I think we should have a group or panel that discusses these topics and try to make change.

I think about this class at the bar… is that weird?

Bars are weird places for bodies, especially for me and my female body. In most other places there are standard rules about how it’s okay to touch someone, what to say to someone, how to interact with someone. But when it comes to the bar it seems as if this all gets jumbled, thrown in the air and mixed up. Of course people have different thoughts about what is okay when it comes to touching their body especially when drinking. But the bar is this weird social environment where things get a little tricky. There’s dancing, it’s crowded, there’s alcohol… and things seem to go wrong… a lot

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Now I’m an Amputee G*d D*mn You

Our class discussion from the other day has me thinking. How do we talk about the US’s responsibility in producing disabilities through wars abroad (both in our own veterans and in residents of the countries that serve as the battlegrounds) without implying that disabled people are undesirable or useless?

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Renee Zellweger’s Face: The Media’s Brutality & Sexist Hollywood

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Last week, the Internet exploded with people commenting on actress Renee Zellweger’s face. She appeared at an event in Hollywood, and it was reportedly her first red carpet appearance in years. Zellweger has not appeared in film for the past five years and she has not been spotted by the media since she turned 40. When she appeared at the event in Hollywood last week, people were talking about how dramatically different she looked since the last time she appeared in the public eye. Many people noted that five years out of the limelight in Hollywood is really long time, especially for a renowned and popular actress such as Zellweger.

Zellweger’s reemergence has sparked a conversation about women aging in Hollywood. Hollywood and the entertainment industry in general is notorious for being brutal towards women as they age. We as a society in general are too focused and judgmental towards women and their bodies especially as they age. People on the Internet and the media immediately jumped to the conclusion that Zellweger had gotten some kind of plastic surgery. The following day after the hysteria surrounding her new appearance, Zellweger responded by making a statement to People Magazine and said, “I’m glad folks think I look different! I’m living a different, happy, more fulfilling life, and I’m thrilled that perhaps it shows.”

Zellwegger discussed that her hectic schedule had a negative impact on her health and that she suffered greatly from exhaustion. She noted that living a happier, more slow-paced lifestyle, and being in a happy relationship with her boyfriend helped her tremendously. Zellweger also said, “People don’t know me in my 40’s, people dont know me as healthy for a while,” “Perhaps I look different. Who doesn’t as they get older!? Ha. But I am different. I am happy.” Did Zellweger get plastic surgery? Did she change her appearance so that she could get more acting roles in Hollywood due to the pressures that exist? Is Zellweger’s new look just a result of aging? I’m not really sure. I personally think that hectic schedules and fast-paced lifestyles can take a toll on the body. I think that if a person makes certain changes to their lifestyle that their appearance can change.

After looking at some photos of her from a few years ago, I do think that she somewhat looks different but I can’t say for sure that she got plastic surgery. It amazed me how the media blew this up and how long people kept talking about it. I think its funny how Hollywood is harshly criticized by conservatives for being “feminist” when clearly it isn’t. Women in Hollywood are constantly being judged by their appearances. Hollywood is in fact a culture that is dominated by primarily men and repeatedly puts women down.

Shallowness, Not Happiness

Throughout my twenty two years on this planet, weight and food has been a majority fixture and topic of social life. There are so many diet ads that promise the key to a happy and healthy life. They insinuate that when you lose weight, you will become a totally different person.

During my eighth grade year of middle school, I lost a lot of my baby fat and experienced just how true this insinuation was. I find it sad and shallow, that it’s true. The majority of societies really do treat you differently once you look different, in their opinion, “a good way”. As soon as I went through this transformation, everyone at my school suddenly wanted to be my friend. I do not exaggerate that over the duration of two days, half my school started adding me on xanga and tagged ( social media sites that were popular in 2005 , especially for young people). It seemed as if I had become a different person or something, because I was not only accepted into the “cool crowd”, but wanted! And I could never feel very comfortable with myself, because I could not forget the fact that  my personality had not changed, only my body. Each new “friendship” that was beginning always had a sense of fakeness; the pressure to be a certain way and act a certain way. Which just made it harder to find and create genuine connections.

I don’t feel that having a desirable body is the key to happiness, but I do believe society’s shallow behavior and actions do support and shore up the social and class roles regarding fat and beauty/happiness. Unfortunately I am quite aware that with the career path I have chosen, I will be forced to come across these ideas and views constantly. As an actor, you are required to be fit (not just for scenes, but also for the strenuous exercises and movement involved).