Something I have always struggled with, like a lot of people, is my mental health. And I feel like there’s so many levels to this shit, that sometimes I can’t tell which part I’m actually struggling with. Is it the mental illness itself? It’s symptoms? Or is it me literally recognizing the presence of it?
Continue readingI just want to start by saying we don’t know what we are doing , falling into and out of vibes and unparalleled energies. As we try to balance our everyday struggles, constantly distracting ourselves from the stressors of reality and responsibilities. We often find ourselves feeling ways we can’t explain or understand , turning to music that capture every aspect of your situation freakily. You think you’re feeling better yet you’re just being thrown into an endless spiral of constantly being reminded , reminiscent , saddened. As you realize that that flame , that energy , that connection is coming to an end. Your body repulses the idea , your mind questions and berates the idea , you begin to feel in ways you probably never felt before. Then life catches up to you , while the world you created is shattering crashing before your eyes , you forgot about the world where you were created. Schoolwork , work , bills , your everyday commitments now all stalk you waiting to throw the next punch. What do you do?
Find another distraction!?? No. Build another world!?? No. Get up and get out there!? Noo. Sit and take it and try to understand why you feel this way. Unlock your emotions , become in tune with your body. Ground yourself , re-center, and realign yourself.
Realizing your worth , realizing that you have your own path in life, realizing that everyone in this world has their own life , and realizing that you have to focus on yourself. Will be the best thing for you , don’t force anything with time if . Put your focus and energy back into your life , recall all your energy that people have taken from you. Get back on your shit, excuse my French. Tu parle francais ? No , well maybe , but it’s just a saying. Healing your mental body , developing your physical body , nurturing your astral body.
If you’re reading this I just want to say , What are you waiting for?
“Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you.” – Dr Seuss
SAY THIS WITH ME
TW: Relationship Violence
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Most people see being told they give good relationship advice and are very considerate to the other people in the relationship as a good thing, but I can’t help that it feels like the bane of my existence currently. It’s like I’m helping people study for relationships and communication 101 and they proudly show me their A with the attached “thanks to your help!” while I shuffle on with my F and backlog of assignments.
Continue readingIt took me a while to realize that my former social anxiety has morphed into a new form: what I call health anxiety.
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All my life, I’ve been fighting through mental illnesses since far before I was aware of it. The first battle was learning how to function with bipolar disorder and depression. Then I jumped right to dealing with my eating disorder. Trichotillomania was next. When I finally had everything sorted out this summer, I felt myself sighing in relief. It was hard, but I could live now. Sure, it’s still extremely difficult, but at least I have a little bit more of a handle on life than I ever had.
And then anxiety showed up.
All my life, I’ve been fighting through mental illnesses since far before I was aware of it. The first battle was learning how to function with bipolar disorder and depression. Then I jumped right to dealing with my eating disorder. Trichotillomania was next. When I finally had everything sorted out this summer, I felt myself sighing in relief. It was hard, but I could live now. Sure, it’s still extremely difficult, but at least I have a little bit more of a handle on life than I ever had.
And then anxiety showed up.
2020 was a train wreck, a dumpster fire, the roller coaster we weren’t allowed to get off, and it doesn’t take much looking to realize everyone is fed up and burnout from the pandemic, over a year of condensed trauma (whether you or someone you knew got sick or not), incompetent people in power, social justice at the forefront of everywhere, up rooted and cancelled life plans, the world is a dart board with every inch covered in things that will decimate your ability to keep going. But 2021 seems to show that 2020 was just a prelude to what our everyday life will be like from here on out.
Content warning!! Candid mental health talk, sucide and suicidal ideation, and open talk about trauma responses (NO details will be given about the traumatic events).
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Where do I start? This is gonna be a post of probably the most incompetent manager that I’ve witnessed in my job at this specific retail store, let’s call him Mr. H.
A piece of background info of me is that I have been working at this store since the end of 2018.
Continue readingThese days I’m practicing mindfulness every second. I let every smell and sight register. I pace my breaths and try to feel the ground beneath me. Since I moved, I walk every morning and every night, stepping the same street until I’m steady enough to branch off to a new one
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