It’s the end of term and I’m doing a lot of reflection essays and papers and responses.
So I’m going to use this time to take a break from doing formal reflections and I’m going to informally look back on the body and the assignment and put my thought stream into a post (thought streams are actually really interesting, when you think about it). It’s going to be disjointed and fairly random, but that’s my mind for you.
Fair warning.
I have suffered from anxiety for as long as I can remember. The telltale tightening of my chest and racing of my heart are a part of my life that I have come to accept. I have grown used to the fact that new situations will seem terrifying and I will constantly have to replay every aspect of what could possibly go wrong before I do anything new. But I have also been able to come up with certain coping strategies to deal with this anxiety.
Comic by Natalie Dee
**Disclaimer: These suggestions are short-term solutions, and should not be taken in lieu of doctor’s orders or prescriptions** Continue reading
In my first blog post, I talked about women’s bodies in public being viewed as public property. As this assignment has progressed, I have been really impressed and inspired by the personal stories that everyone else has shared, so I want to end my blog by talking about a few of my own experiences of my body being seen as public property. *tw sexual harassment/salty language* Continue reading
Trigger warning *sexual assault / heroin use*
I’ve been thinking a lot about narratives lately. I’m going to try and unpack some of the stories I use my body to tell.
*seriously the above trigger stuff will show up*
Rocky Horror Picture Show
I was inspired while reading Navigating Boundaries to discuss my own love for physical contact!
So after reading a bit of Exile and Pride, I thought it interesting that Eli Clare considered his body as what was home to him. To me, home had always been anything BUT my body. For instance, the roof I live under is considered home to me, the neighborhood I live in is considered home to me, being surrounded by my family and their mannerisms and so on. When looking at what my body is to me, it’s just simply that . . . my body. I look at it as a piece of property owned by me.
Then Clare starts putting labels on his body, such as queer and disabled, which describes who he is and how it describes his body as home. In relation to my own body, I’ve never considered even putting labels on it because the idea never occurred to me. Don’t get me wrong, my body is very special to me, because it was given to me specially when I was born into this world, but I just can’t come to the point of naming it home, and putting labels on it. That seems kind of abnormal to me. Instead, on an ending note, I’d like to also look at my body simply as a miraculous piece of work that serves as a protection for my soul, which is in charge of my inner thoughts, actions, etc., contained inside.
There really isn’t any other way to say it, so I’m just going to say it. I like physical contact…a lot.
I don’t even mean sexual contact. I mean the most basic skin to skin, body to body contact there is. A hug, a handshake, a high five.
I like it when my arms brush against strangers on the street. I love it when my relatives hug me or when a friend comforts me with back rub. I like long embraces and holding hands. I love getting my hair cut at a salon because my hairdresser rubs my scalp with his fingertips. I save up money every semester for a massage at a spa. I feel happy when my yoga teacher touches me to adjust my pose during a class. One of my favorite people to greet is a friend of mine who always gives me a back cracking hug, long and strong as if he hasn’t seen me in years. I love cats and dogs because they’re often affectionate; they want me to pet them, hold them, scratch them behind their ears.
Last year Kelly Martin Broderick wrote a blog post about The Great Wall of Vagina. As an artist myself I was able to appreciate the wall as art. I cannot imagine the time and effort the artist put into every cast. The fact that so many women took time to participate is amazing!
I decided to do a bit of research and came across PENIS. Big ones, short ones, fat ones, long one and the list goes on. Joseph Tailor’s project entitled ‘Art Work “100” ‘ is a casting project of many penis. This made me extremely uncomfortable. I didn’t understand why. I don’t mind looking at my boyfriend’s penis. His is pretty cool. I also didn’t mind looking at the wall of vaginas.
(Yes that is a Golden Penis. Not to be confused with the Golden Snitch)
Thinking hard -no pun intended- about my feelings I came to the conclusion that it was because of the form of the penis. Let me explain:
The vaginas on the great wall are all carefully placed and appear to be that of relief sculptures. They are delicate and unique. This is truly how a vagina looks.
While each penis is also unique I felt almost as if they were looking at me. I realize it was easiest to capture the mold of a penis while it was hard but this is not realistic. A man’s penis can only achieve maximum size when it is erect. Does that mean you’re “less of a man” when it’s not?
I haven’t been feeling great about my body lately. It’s because I’ve been spending so much time at my desk or hunched over a book (thanks, finals). But it’s also because I haven’t been able to wear my favorite pair of jeans since I got back from my time abroad (where I ate everything I wanted because cultural experience!). I’m telling myself not to let a pair of pants make me feel this way about my body, but I’m feeling it. Continue reading
LOVE!
This Thanksgiving break, I went to visit my family in Webster, New York. We do this every year, making the six-hour drive from Annapolis to the upstate NY area, right on the edge of Lake Ontario. It’s beautiful, and it’s cold. Apparently, I am also cold, because I find it really difficult to connect with my cousins, even though I love them to pieces (as you can see in the photo above).
Unruly Bodies 