disability

by

Schools are not for the disabled

Our last class discussion really had me thinking about how un-accessible schools really are. Not only in physical lay out but also in policies and attitudes and I wanted to talk about it a little more. For students with mental disabilities there’s the issue of “proving” that you have an issue that could affect you in class, going to the doctor’s, reporting it with the school where it is then on file, then outing yourself to your professors which can be very stressful for someone. Also once you talk with a professor it is a guessing game on whether they will be accommodating or act like you are taking away from others. For those with physical disabilities our campus is not designed for easy access while getting around, our desks are small and uncomfortable and overall there is just so many obstacles to overcome.

Class also made me think about things we don’t often attribute to this issue. Bigger individuals, whether it be height or weight, have a hard time fitting into the desks and yet it is not thought of as an issue. The same goes for pregnant women who are not given appropriate accommodations, they face a variety of issues such as discomfort/ pain, fatigue, doctor’s appointments, sickness etc. and teachers often don’t think of them as needing any help.

The school as a whole is often set up to work best for someone who can afford tuition, is young, able bodied, can live on campus, doesn’t have to work, and takes the classes their adviser tells them to. But what about the people who don’t fit into this. I’m young and luckily I’ve gotten through college without much trouble but thinking about it critically I can find times where I was seen as a nuisance because I didn’t fit into the appropriate mode. I am on scholarship so I have to take a certain amount of credits and get a certain GPA, also I take more than the needed amount of credits because my scholarship only lasts until the end of this year. I also have to work in order to get through college and I’ve been told many times I should quit my job, or I need to just stay in school longer and take more classes even though that’s not a possibility for me. Commuting also opens up problems that students face. There’s only a small number of students who fit into the accepted form and yet nothing is being done to change how we deal with all of the others.

I don’t know if we have one already but if not I think we should have a group or panel that discusses these topics and try to make change.

by

Now I’m an Amputee G*d D*mn You

Our class discussion from the other day has me thinking. How do we talk about the US’s responsibility in producing disabilities through wars abroad (both in our own veterans and in residents of the countries that serve as the battlegrounds) without implying that disabled people are undesirable or useless?

Continue reading →

by

Dodging Glances on the Train

So today we’re going to talk about my fun times with mental illness, since it’s the reason this blog post is late. Yay.

I didn’t plan on getting too personal for this blog; my list of topic ideas is mostly cultural critique. I’m sure I’ll come back to that list for later posts and even save some of them to put up on my own blog(s) eventually. Right now I need to process some meta before I can get back to doing the thing.

Continue reading →

by

QUEERIES: My Love for Eli Clare’s Exile and Pride and Why You Should Go Ahead and Read It, Okay?

I haven’t connected to any other class’s readings as I have connected with Eli Clare’s Exile & Pride. I’m trying to figure out why, and I still don’t rightly know, but I needed to share.

It seems obvious to say, “Well, I like the subject matter,” but really. I do. And it is all very different but so intrinsically connected, that I feel bad that I ever doubted the meshing of these worlds into one book. The environment, queerness, and disability (to narrow it down to a main triad) are all sides of the same coin. The environment–the one he have created and the one that has always been–often dictates disability. Disability provokes a queer understanding of identity. Being queer in different environments–rural and urban–is like being a polar bear or a house cat,  a bird or a lost lizard in a sewer. The criticism that Clare invokes when talking about these topics is also critical of race and ethnicity and of privilege and gender. Who was the first to claim land as an inexhaustible resource? Who dictates the gender and sexual norms? Who creates the urban space that perpetuates disability? Clare touches on all of these linked together identities and sites, and it feels so right. I learned so much from Clare’s writing, but I also picked up his sense of criticism; that calm, assertive, compassionate voice that questions why and kicks out with fervor. Clare’s criticism is beatifically formed and so god damn smart, but it’s not the only thing that keeps me in the book.

Continue reading →

by

Limping

Six weeks after meniscus repair surgery, I am currently re-learning how to walk.  Actually, I can already walk, but with a limp – I’m re-learning how to walk “properly.”  That is, like a princess, like Audrey Hepburn in Roman Holiday.  Several times a week, in front of a floor-to-ceiling mirror either at my physical therapists’ office or at home, I slowly take steps, deliberately bending and straightening my legs in a precise, exaggerated motion.  According to my doctor and physical therapists, I have to re-learn how to hold my leg perfectly, 180 degrees-straight within a few weeks or else I’ll be stuck with an essentially permanent limp.  Truth be told, the prospect of a lifelong limp is frightening enough to scare me into doing my draining physical therapy exercises, which I had otherwise been avoiding.  Suddenly, I feel strong motivation to get fully invested in my exercises and “get better.”

Continue reading →

by

Why Do I Feel So Guilty?

disability-320trans

 

 

It is always the same scenario.  Someone who is either blind, struggling to guide their way throughout the bus with their walking stick tapping the ground in a rhythmic motion, or someone who cannot walk, as the bus driver has to take the extra minutes to load that individual in a wheelchair into the front of the vehicle.   While all this is happening, I usually look away uncomfortably.  But the question is why?  I’ve decided to answer with that I feel guilty.  But why should I feel guilty?  I haven’t contributed to what society calls their “disability”.  But somehow I feel somewhat responsible for the way the blind can never see the beautiful scenery during a hike, or the deaf may never be able to hear the wonderful melodies embedded in music.  Maybe it’s the fact that I enjoy these pleasures, that it is tearing me inside.  Sometimes I wish it was me . . . . that I was blind, deaf, lame, dumb and so on.  I feel that then the guilt would disappear because I would be stripped of the “pleasures” society says that I have.

But are the disabled really suffering? Is that a legitimate cause for me to feel guilty?  The strange thing is, I only feel this way towards disabled individuals that are strangers to me.  I know at least one person very well that is disabled.  And I wouldn’t even call her “disabled” because she is so driven and strong.  She doesn’t seem to experience any limitations and boldly reaches for the same opportunities that I or any other “normal” person would want.  Because of that, I feel no sense of guilt around her, she greatly inspires me.  Maybe if I stopped to look at the “disability” of others and feel sorry and crappy about it, as society has so often told us to do, I would see greatness and not sympathy.

To be honest, I never dared to express my thoughts on my guilt toward disabled people.  To me, I thought it was inappropriate to do so.  But now letting all my thoughts out here in this post for the first time, I’ve realized that it is society that is causing my guilt, not the disabled.  The disabled are not telling me to feel sorry for them, society is; the disabled are not telling me to look away, society is; the disabled are not telling me they are not enjoying life, society is.  And looking back on it, the way society is downgrading the disabled is really shattering.

by

“Functioning” Breasts

I think it’s safe to say that our society has a pretty ridiculous obsession with breasts. Breasts are shoved in our faces all the time—through screens, billboards, pages of magazines, what have you. They have become something of a paragon of beauty in our society; so many women today are dissatisfied with their natural breasts and go to great lengths to have them molded into “beautiful” breasts. I don’t know if we ask it enough: Why does our society put such a premium on breasts?

Many women I know are baffled by the appeal that breasts hold. I have often heard women respond to qualifying or sexualizing comments about breasts with statements such as “Why do people care what breasts look like?” or “What is so sexy about breasts? They’re only there so we can feed our children” or, my favorite, “They’re just sacks of milk.” *shudder*

I get the biological retort; it is a bit silly that we’re essentially sexualizing our udders (gross, but true). But at the same time, I can see how they came to hold the power that they have. Breasts are life-givers, really. They are how we provide for our offspring. No matter how many modern advancements are put forth in child care, the essential bond between a mother and child will always be associated with the act of breastfeeding.

So this begs the question: does the power of breasts only lie in their ability to “function”? Are breasts only glorious and powerful if they can nourish a child? I ask this because there is a strong possibility I will not be able to breastfeed my children.

Continue reading →

by

Bridget Says It Best

Growing up, I was also told over and over again my worth was tied to doing Great Things. That lesser people lived ordinary lives…So do I own my complete failure, or do I redefine what it means to do Great Things?

Bridget Allen wrote an incredible piece on her blog that I stumbled upon through the Huffington Post – read “My Value: Autism, Feminism and Poverty” on her blog here.

I’m trying to think of what more analysis I can add to this post – but honestly, Bridget says it best. Continue reading →

by

Who, me? Disabled?

At the beginning of this class’ section on disability studies, we created a list of a variety of disabilities that may or may not be recognized by society. We listed the ones most people think of, like physical and mental disabilities, but when we began talking about “invisible” disabilities, something struck a chord in me.

TW: Blood mention Continue reading →