A friend of mine recently told me she doesn’t like her own music, as she finds it stale, predictable, and boring. My first reaction was to immediately argue, that in my eyes I think the songs she writes and plays are some of the most interesting and engaging pieces of music I’ve had the pleasure of interacting with. But it also got me thinking: what does she see that I don’t? Many musicians, when asked how they came up with a musical idea, might simply say “it came to me.” Or “it just happened.” As if the idea was given to them by some mysterious third party, that knows exactly what melody would perfectly encapsulate the emotion that they were trying to convey. The interesting thing about this is to the musician, the basics of playing their instrument is akin to walking or maybe even breathing. As shown by Kosut and Moore in the introduction to their book Just the Reflexive Reflex, actions like walking that don’t necessarily need to be thought about shouldn’t be considered purely mechanical. Why do people walk the way they walk? Perhaps some of it is biology, or habit, or that one ankle injury in 4th grade, or perhaps it is some combination of all of that. In this case, it would be safe to say that the musician’s musical ideas are the fruit of the seeds planted every time that they have practiced, every song they’ve analyzed, and every show they’ve been to. So what my friend sees is simply what is intuitive to her ears and fingers, which is incredibly interesting to me yet very drab to her.
When Seeing Is Not Neutral: Race and Learned Perception
In our discussions over the past few weeks I found myself taking away the most from our conversation about “learned perception” from Linda Martin Alcoffs’ “Towards a Phenomenology of Racial Embodiment”. What stood out to me was the idea that seeing is not neutral. The way we perceive others is often influenced by ideas which we have learned throughout our lives. I assumed that even physical characteristics which seem like objective truths are usually perceived neutrally, but this is not the case.
Continue readingWhy are spoons so damn expensive?
I first heard about “spoon theory” from my mother when I was younger. She had lupus, and hearing “I just don’t have the spoons for that today” wasn’t anything out of the ordinary in the house, it was just another Tuesday. It was the first time I’d heard someone use that example for describing a pretty much invisible currency. I didn’t think about it again for years though, until it was brought up in class, and suddenly, it was linked to the social model of disability.
The Constrictions of Femininity
Growing up as a girl has been one of the most interesting experiences of my life so far. I’ve had some beautiful moments of girlhood that I wouldn’t trade for the world, but some moments still give me the ick when I think about them. To start, whether it’s being catcalled while shopping, stared at, or being followed somewhere, there’s always at least one person giving an unsolicited judgment on your appearance, cadence, or simply your existence as a woman/girl, no matter where I went. A lot of those judgements were targeted directly at my femininity, questioning and shunning the way I walked, dressed, behaved, or talked in a way that wasn’t considered ‘ladylike’ or ‘womanly ‘. Because I didn’t conform to this traditional, rigid, and destructive gender expectation that stems from toxic femininity, I was judged or looked down upon amongst people who held the ideal that women always had to be soft, passive, and altruistic – the ideal woman.
It has been consistently proven that the bar for being the “ideal woman” moves farther and farther away until eventually you realize that the bar was never meant to be reached. What I mean when I mention ‘the bar’ is the representation of the so-called ‘perfect’ amount of femininity a woman should exhibit, or what others would determine “being enough of a woman” to be, that society has depicted in media and societal standards countless times. When reading “Throwing Like A Girl”, I expressed a strong sigh of relief when I saw Young’s perspective on femininity, as unfortunately even in today’s society, there is still an unrealistic standard for women to be “feminine enough” and reach that bar. They stated, “it is not necessary that any women be “feminine”—that is, it is not necessary that there be distinctive structures and behavior typical of the situation of women.” This mention of how no woman needs to be feminine made me feel seen and heard. As the structure of femininity is constructed upon expectations that are both arbitrary and ever-changing, I found comfort in Young’s assertion that femininity is not an essential quality for women. The pressure to fit into a specific mold, whether it’s about how we move, speak, or present ourselves, becomes exhausting and, frankly, impossible to satisfy. Young’s essay reminded me that we don’t have to accept these limitations or internalize the criticism that comes when we refuse to conform. We can aim to achieve our own personal, healthy standards that don’t exist at the cost of our authenticity and mental health.
The Standard Template of Society
We’ve built our society, physically and socially, based on a standard that assumes that the people who operate in it are all capable of the same things or must be made capable of the same things through their own effort. Most sidewalk edges for example are built with the assumption that people can just walk onto and off of them, small buildings with less than three floors might not consider putting in an elevator because “its only one floor to walk up”, we create these things on the assumptions that we are all equally capable physically and socially.
Continue readingIs the body a mask?
The image portrays an old oil painting displaying a figure holding up a broken mask to their face.
In our earlier lessons within class the question of “are we our bodies?” was discussed. Of course the general response was no, we aren’t. Our bodies are a vessel for our minds, they carry our dreams, fears, beliefs, personalities, and so much more. However, if people are so much more than the body why does it seem like it is such a determining factor in our lives?
Continue readingWho Even Gets to Throw Like a Girl?
When first reading Young’s “Throwing Like a Girl”, I often found myself internally wondering who exactly was the “girl” or “feminine body” she’s referring to? I realize this probably seems like a very obvious question—but when you view femininity through an intersectional lens, it is one you have no choice but to ask. I concluded that these experiences of the feminine body highly depend on who that girl is.
Continue readingWhat Am I?
Identity is a fickle concept. I like to think about it as a soup with many ingredients, and I have to say this soup is thick. Some days the Nigerian takes the shine. Other days it’s the American experience that meets people first, before I’ve even said a word. My Blackness and my African identity are both visible the second someone looks at me, but people don’t read them the same way. Being African gets me questions about my last name, whether or not I can “speak African,” or this weird curiosity that feels more like being studied than actually being known. Being Black in America comes with a heavier history attached to it, one that has nothing to do with where I was actually born but gets slapped onto me anyway. Feels like it’s just what happens when people read your body before you’ve said a single word, which is basically the whole argument Alcoff makes about race being something read off the body before a person ever gets to speak for themselves.
Read more: What Am I?It’s never one big dramatic moment either. It’s small stuff that piles up. Getting mistaken for someone else. Getting called “articulate” like that’s shocking. Getting asked where I’m “really” from after I already told someone. None of these are huge on their own, but they stack, and that’s basically the whole point Rankine is making in Citizen, how these little moments build into something bigger just by accumulating over and over. Eventually that stacking becomes part of a regular day instead of something worth noticing. I don’t really have a clean way to wrap this up. Identity isn’t something I explain from the inside. It’s something read off of me before I get a say in it, and I’m still figuring out how I feel about that.
Can I just live? Damn
In today’s time you many people expressing their concern with an emerging panopticon-like society that we might have to live with in the coming years, with the installation of flock cameras and increasing amounts of surveillance that is being added into everyday routines. But what most people aren’t aware of is that this phenomenon has been an issue for years even before the announcement of cameras being added inside of the latest model AirPods. In my opinion, I think the only reason why these things are becoming such a big issue now is because overwhelming amounts of surveillance are starting to affect the ‘normal’ groups of people.
It can be argued that lots of minorities have experienced the feeling of prying eyes watching every little move that they make, forcing them to overcorrect every little action that they do. We see this happen a lot in sports and how a lot of people react to athletes of color. In the book Citizen by Claudia Ranken, we see how Serena Williams is constantly expected to perform a certain way and if she’s ever seen as ‘stepping out of line’ she is met with constant backlash from the facility she plays for and on social media. In the 2012 Olympics, she celebrated her gold medal by doing a celebratory dance and almost everybody has assumed that she was doing a crip walk, which is a dance associated with a gang. Most people with common sense would know that she was NOT crip walking, and she was just simply celebrating her win like anybody else would. The controversy of her celebration was blown out of proportion, and she was criticized for being unprofessional. It feels like a lot of people were watching her excessively, waiting for her to mess up so that they could jump down her throat and spout ignorance without being labeled a racist (although, I would say that assuming that anytime a black person dances has something to do with a gang kind or is). Another example of this happening in sports is how Lamar Jackson is treated in by fans and the NFL. While I’m not that much of a football fan, his record shows how he is a very good and capable quarterback. Despite that, he is constantly faced with ridiculous amounts of criticism whenever his team messes up with something or loses a game. He also gets ranked very low compared to more mediocre quarterbacks, and it’s to the point where it’s obvious that he’s being below the other players that are more aesthetically pleasing to the American eye (white).
It’s ironic that everyone is suddenly concerned about the overwhelming amount of surveillance technology being added into everything even though this was never something that was brand new. In a way, society had created their own panopticon specifically for the groups of people who were deemed as odd or unusual and tech companies decided to expand that to include everyone else.
Is my body my own or is it my race?
Race controls society no matter how you think about things. Recently I have been talking about race a lot with my friend who is mixed. It made me think of how society and cultures will make you choice a race if you are mixed. Society seeing you be too black or not black enough , too white or not white enough , too asian or not asian enough, etc. When you think race do you just see color or do you see features? Do you see mannerisms , clothings, lifestyle living? I knew I was my race because thats what society told me and they made sure I fit the description of what my race should be I grew into it and embodied it. When people are mixed they either feel the need to choose or society makes the choice for them of the race they embody. I think of how people that are mixed might feel pressure and discount from their communities that should be embracing them. A conversation I had was how can we as a society or community can embrace and make sure these individuals feel accepted and loved.
Read more: Is my body my own or is it my race?
