Once a Pad Girl, Always a Pad Girl?

When I had my first period in 2011, my mom handed me an orange Always pad. When I got my next period she handed me the same thing. Soon after she passed away. My older sisters menstruated, but they did not like talking about it.. So I kept wearing orange pads made by Always. My period was HEAVY. Like filled up a pad every hour for two weeks straight, heavy. All I had was my trusty orange Always pad, but I leaked constantly and felt extremely uncomfortable from the feeling of the pad. A little later my flow got better, but the symptoms got extremely worse. When I got older I tried birth control and my period became much more manageable.

A package of orange Always Pads
Orange wrapped, size large pads by Always
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The Art of Crying in the Walk-in

Photo of Bart Simpson and Milhouse Van Houten from The Simpsons. Milhouse says "This is where I come to cry" showing Bart a tunnel and Bart says "Cool." The caption of the meme says "Me showing new servers the walk-in cooler."
Scene from The Simpsons where Milhouse shows Bart his special crying place like servers do to the new workers.

“Don’t ask if we want *another* drink; it’s passive aggressive and rude.”

“Roll the silverware tight like you!”

“This salad is entirely too big.”

“You want to check my ID? How f*cking racist.”

“You rang in crunchy instead of a crispy taco shell. Those 34 cents are coming out of your tips.”

“Smile more! Then maybe you’ll make more money.”

“You forgot our hot sauce. Why don’t you buy us a round of shots to make up for it?”

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Non-gender and nonbinary

I’ve read somewhere before (and now somehow find it impossible to find a source) that identity is an advertisement for a product that doesn’t exist. I don’t think I’ve ever found a definition that rang as true for me as that did.

In my last post, I wrote about disconnecting from my body through the internet. An aspect of that that I wanted to give its own space is the disconnect I was having with gender.

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Black Bodies and the Effect of Representation in Television and Movies

Black people need better representation in film and television. I would say Black people need “more” representation, but lately, the lack of representation has not been the problem, it is the substance. It has largely been on Black struggle, such as slavery, the Civil Rights Movement, racism, and police brutality. How does that affect the mind of a Black child? A Black teen?

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Bodies and Labor

Labor v. Work

What is the difference between labor and work?

Is there a difference? Are they not the same thing?

The difference between work and labor is that work is more of an intended activity that is done by one’s will. Although labor can be intended as well, to me labor seems to be more forced and requires doing the groundwork in order to receive something back.

Karl Marx defines work as an organized labor that separates humans from animals. He describes how the problem with labor is its alienation, and not the work itself.

Physical and Emotional Labor

What is Physical Labor?

Physical labor is a term used for manual labor in which humans use their body, machines, and sometimes animals, as well as their body strength to perform the labor

Examples: construction work, farming, shelf stocking

What is Emotional Labor?

Emotional labor is typically work that requires certain emotions towards a particular audience.

Examples: social workers, teachers/professors, childcare providers

Physical and Emotional Labor at work

I am a certified Pharmacy Technician and currently work at a CVS inside a target. I have been working for over a year now, and I have come to the realization that my job consists of both emotional and physical labor.

As I am on the front line of helping customers get their prescriptions at the lowest cost possible, my job requires me to put on a welcoming, smiley, and “ready to help” face. Even if I am not in a good mood that day, it is my job to put everything aside and look approachable. Although some customers may be disrespectful or get frustrated about any possible problem, I am required to keep my emotions intact for my customers to get the best experience and satisfaction possible.

Working as a Pharmacy Technician at CVS also requires physical labor in which we do inventory every week. Inventory consists of unpacking boxes of drugs and shelving them. While working at a fast pace pharmacy, I am constantly on the go with finding the particular drug, counting and filling the medication, and making sure their prescription goes through the insurance, all while trying to help customers picking up their medications at the same time.

Not just a Pharmacy Technician job, but many jobs across the world consists of both emotional and physical labor, and sometimes we may not realize that.

Dance: How it is freeing and restricting

A dancer in pointe shoes en pointe. The pointe shoes are worn.

First we can start with the physicality of it all. Dance, in its traditional ballet form, is an expressive but incredibly restrictive art form. In ballet you body goes through certain fixed movements, there being only about five arm movements in traditional ballet, fluidly. Being en pointe is painful, it pushes you stand taller and stand, literally, on your toes. You get cramps in your feet and legs.

Yet you feel beautiful and graceful

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Feisty Little Bitch: an inside look at embodiment and anger management

[tw: description of tense family relationship, intense anger, and family fights]

If I had to pick one thing to resent my parents for, it would be the inherited anger issues. Well, that and leaving me the responsibility of being the only member of the family to actually work on those issues. 

For those who didn’t know me before college, I’d been known to have a short fuse, one hell of a temper, a mean streak, and a distinct lack of filter once I got going. In short, I had a reputation as a feisty little bitch. (And worse behind my back, I’m sure– this one is tame, almost fun.) At college, I’m a lot calmer. It’s an environment removed from my parents and brother where I can actually practice anger management techniques without someone doing their damnedest to escalate anyway, away from the three people on Earth who know how to get under my skin better than anything else. 

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What is love?

Love.

Love can be defined in many ways. Love is what brings people together. Love is what makes the world go round and round. Without love we will all be lost, and it will become a deadly place. Love is wanting the best for them, even though you gave them the best of you and they thought it wasn’t enough. Love is making time for them even though your schedule is busy. Love is ordering extra fries because you know they will get hungry later. Love isn’t always easy, sometimes it can be hard. Love is always seeing the good in them, even though it’s hurting you in the end. Love is when you feel the butterflies in your stomach when you speak to them. Love is when you are willing to put yourself through hell because you know they’re worth it. Love is complex. Love can be full of mixed emotions and beliefs. We always hear songs about love but love is hard to explain sometimes. Someone told me that “it is better to lose your pride with someone you love, rather than to lose that someone you love with your useless pride”. Love is sacrifice. Love is giving your all no matter what. Love is when your head over heels for someone or something. My friend Ryan said “Love is trust. Most importantly love is an unmovable force that is completely unmatched. ” Love can sometimes drive you crazy, but it also can make you the happiest you’ve ever been. No matter how much you try to deny love, you can’t. It’s the most uncontrollable and unpredictable emotion.

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