I originally went to the dance team’s prep classes as part of a class project. The goal was to go to a club that we’d “never imagine we’d join”. So the former high school football player went to a chess club meeting, the international student went to an election night event, and I – a marching band girl who’d exclusively wear one-piece bathing suits to the beach – went to Dance Team. I went there because they scared me. I saw them at Involvement Fest with their slightly revealing uniforms and their shining confidence. I imagined myself in their position and thought it was ridiculous but a few months later, there I was, in front of the whole Event Center in that same uniform. I was attracted to the feeling of sisterhood.
Continue readingBiases
Rated R for Nudity
I recently led a discussion on banned and censored films in the United States. During the discussion the topic of nudity came up. It struck me that the United States has a taboo around nudity. And that is shown very clearly in films. What is typically shown is the illusion of nudity. The “naked” person is covered by a sheet or hidden behind camera angles.
Whenever actual nudity is shown it tends to shock the audience. Which is weird right? People are reacting in shock to seeing a human body.
It seems to me even when direct nudity is shown there tends to be a hierarchy of which body part is acceptable to be shown on screen. For example, butts are the rare exception for nudity. Shots containing butts are usually played for shock and laughter. Those shots are actually pretty common and may be shown in all age rated films. Then there are the chests scenes. Men go topless all the time. Topless women are usually only seen in R rated movies. And finally film scenes containing genitalia are essentially unicorns. You have to go looking for them, myths and legends surround them, and there is generally massive controversy whenever one is spotted.
Continue readingMisophonia: a new sense of disability.
Misophonia is a neurological disorder that is defined as the extreme hatred of a sound. These sounds are usually common sounds caused by other people, such as chewing food. The sound will trigger a fight or flight response in the misophonic person which can have psychological and physical manifestations. Misophonia is a relatively new and understudy disorder, only first being recognized in 2001. While new, the disorder is still impactful, and that is where this story begins.
My sister has Misophonia. It started when she was about 6. We would be at the dinner table, I would take a bite, and she would turn to me, tense up, and scream. This continued for years. It advanced to even my coughing or sniffing my nose triggering her too. After years of therapy, doctors, and diagnosis she is now finally able to control these responses.
Continue readingFollowing Inspiration
I was 16, mindlessly scrolling through Instagram, and feeling this dark cloud that sat over my head like Eeyore for months. I couldn’t place it. I was the skinniest I’d ever been, found a decent best friend that didn’t bully me like the ones from elementary school, and had just started dating a boy who I was crushing on for months. It took me years to figure out who I follow on social media makes a huge difference in our confidence.
Continue readingAmerican Born Confused Indian
Throughout my life, I have been lucky enough to identify myself with two cultures, an Indian and an American.
I am an American born.
My family’s roots go all the way back to South Asia.
And as for the confused part, having two cultures can definitely be confusing at times.
Background Story
My parents, who were born and raised in India, had a very different lifestyle there. After marriage, my parents left everything they had in India and moved to The United States aspiring towards the American dream. Coming to this country with only one hundred dollars in their pocket, they quickly embarked on the working life where they partook in many jobs to hold a steady income. 10 years later, having three daughters- 10 years old, 5 years old , and 1 month old- their life turned around with an outlook of great success and happiness.
Coming from a family with three daughters and no sons, my sisters and I were raised to be independent, courageous, and to have great integrity. We are classified as “first generation South Asians”.
Being a first generationer
Because my parents were born in another country, and my sisters and I were born in America, that makes us “first generationers”. This title holds big responsibilities upon us that other children born in this country may not understand.
For first generationers, our confusion stems from tasks of developing a new identity, in which we often have to do so without the guidance of our parents or the support from our community.
And that is both difficult and confusing.
Caught between cultures
Having two cultures can be confusing in a sense that you are living with two completely different identities. There tends to always be a dramatic difference in messages that come from our public lives versus our home lives. In this world we face challenges where the expectations of our family values contrast the larger culture. Sometimes it feels like I am “too American” to be a part of the Indian culture where some would think I am “white-washed”, and other times “too Indian” to be apart of the American culture. So what exactly am I?
Family Support
My parents taught my sisters and I to always think smartly and to never take things for granted. We were taught to cherish everything we have and to never forget our roots. From a young age my parents never failed to teach us about the Indian culture. Although English was our first language and we were raised as Americans, my sisters and I still connected with our Indian culture by celebrating all the holidays and attending Sunday school at our temple where were learned the history and beautiful language of the Hindu religion. After growing up and going to school and family events, I now realize how lucky my sisters and I are to be able to celebrate and be a part of more than one culture. We are able to see the beauty and importance of both cultures.
Although at times it feels like I am caught between cultures, I consider myself lucky that I am able to connect to not only one but two different ethnicities. I do not believe I am “white-washed” nor am I “too Indian”.
Us first generationers will continue to fight adversity so that those too can see us as being fortunate with two identities.
Public school & periods
Ask any child between the ages of 10-13 about their experience in health class, and prepare yourself for a slew of interesting answers. You would likely hear about splitting the boys and girls into separate classrooms, being sent home with deodorant and pads, images of STIs, and of course, the infamous birthing video. I myself remember being shuffled into a room of fifth grade girls, only to learn that I would soon begin to bleed once a month, and it would be terrifying. We were shown a video of what happens anatomically during the menstrual cycle, taught a bunch of new words like “ovaries” and “fallopian tubes”, and were each given a box of sanitary products that we didn’t know how to use.
I think it is a mistake for boys and girls to be educated separately, because this adds to a sense of otherness and mystery about the other side, which can lead to rumors and misinformation; I distinctly remember being asked multiple times by boys “can’t you just hold it in?” (referring to menstrual fluid). There is also a sense of secrecy around periods, as shown by the way adolescent girls hide their sanitary products and give them to each other discreetly. A common “nightmare scenario” trope is an adolescent girl getting her first period in class, in which everyone sees and makes fun of her, of course making her incredibly embarrassed. Also, there will likely come a time in everyone’s life where they have a close relationship with someone who is biologically different from them, whether it be romantic or not. Having knowledge about what different bodies go through allows for greater understanding and empathy for others, which is a universally beneficial quality to have.
Treating menstruation as simply a girl’s/women’s issue that boys and men don’t need to know about also contributes to the sense of taboo and secrecy around periods. Many fully grown men get uncomfortable when the subject comes up, even if they have wives and daughters themselves. Knowing that many people feel this way is what keeps many girls, including my younger self, from openly talking about their periods except when with other girls. I believe this is why many young girls feel shame or embarrassment about their own menstruation, despite it being a natural process that is old as humanity itself. This is why that educating all people, not just those who will experience menstruation, about the changes bodies go through during puberty is crucial.
Is TikTok Ableist?
TikTok is a popular app that allows users to post a video up to 60 seconds long of them singing, dancing, acting, cooking, etc. Millions of people, of all ages, use the app to express themselves and share information or art with others.
TikTok uses an algorithm to create a “for you page” full of users and videos that are tailored to your interests and likes. On my “for you page,” I see videos about cats, rescue animals, Hamilton, and engineers. However, something I do not see is a lot of disabled people. It took months of being on the app before I saw someone in a wheelchair on the app. She is a dancer and I was shocked; not because she was in a wheelchair and dancing, but because I never expected to see someone dancing in a wheelchair. In all of the months I have been on TikTok, I have seen dozens of people dance to viral songs. All involve hand movements and minimal feet movement, so why was I surprised to see someone in a wheelchair doing the same thing? A lot of the dances do have to be modified for the dancer’s specific ability, but they are still very similar to the original dances. These creators need to be promoted in order to show that anyone can dance and enjoy participating in TikTok trends.
Continue readingIt’s Okay Not To Be Okay!
Mental Health has been a topic people have been talking about in today’s
society. Our mental health can impact many of our relationships, friendships,and many experiences we may have in our life. Mental health should be talked about just as much as physical health. We tend to put a great investment of time on physical health but not much for mental health. For example, if someone were to break their leg, they will automatically call a doctor. When addressing mental health many people do not really talk about it, simply because of the stigmas that are attached to it.
We should break the stigmas about mental health and embrace an open
communication through our society. We need to help others know that it is okay to ask for help. Life can be challenging at times and we never know what might happen, but all we can do, is keep our head up and take it one step at a time. Sometimes we go through things in life that makes us feel like we have hit rock bottom but always remember to “just keep swimming” as dory said. Also ask for help if needed. Sometimes we might feel like dory and not know where we are going and how to get somewhere, but just keep your head up and “just keep swimming”.
It is okay not to be okay!
Remember that every difficult road you come across; it often leads to a
beautiful destination. If you ever feel like you are lost or need help, do not
hesitate to ask for help. There is no shame in asking for help. Do not be scared to ask for help! We are all in this together!
How do we boobify it? A look at bodies and abilities in video games.
I have recently been spending my spare time sitting on my couch, waiting in anticipation for the new “Resident Evil” survival-horror video game to release. I played the demo of the game last week, and it was great! I was tense for many hours after, but it was worth it. I love a good scare, and in video games there is the sweet feeling of starting over again even after failure, so there is usually a feeling of relief. After playing it though, I started thinking about video game characters throughout time, and how they kind of always typically find a way to make everything look good. Continue reading
Our Disabling Tendencies; What are its ramifications to the physically and mentally impaired?
When my mother first began feeling weak, I remember no one at first took her condition seriously. For the most part, we all took it as a normal aging process since she had just turned sixty-nine and was on medication for a high blood pressure diagnosis. She herself didn’t give it too much thought, I remember her dismissing some of her symptoms as “side effects of my medication.” While away from home, I would often speak to her on the phone, and would ask if her health was improving, but she would always reply yes, only adding that she was feeling “a little weak on my left side.” one day while at work this past summer, I received a call from her telling me that she had a stroke, but that she was doing fine. When I finally got the chance to visit her, it was immediately obvious that her health was in serious decline despite all that she had told me. What made things even worse for us was the fact that her application for health insurance kept on getting rejected, without any coherent reason. I remember one time driving her to the social workers office with hopes of finally getting a clearer picture of what was wrong with her application, and why it was taking so long for it to be approved, only to return empty handed without any answers, but with instructions to keep in touch with them.
All this time her health remained in steady decline as we could not keep up with follow up appointments and other mounting bills. After waiting in vain for her application to be approved, and because she could no longer perform simple activities of daily living like cooking or cleaning, we decided as a family to move her in with my eldest sister. Because it was a different state, we decided to reapply with hopes of finally getting approved. Because she already had an application being processed, it was demanded that her file be sent over for a reevaluation. A quick review of her old application revealed one small discrepancy; apparently while completing the application she had mistakenly wrote down my father’s social security number instead of hers, and surprisingly, while she was being denied health insurance, no one had the patience of accurately checking her application before forwarding it for approval.
Evidently in not being prompt in their response and professional in their approach to her case, they had neglected their duties and failed to see the disabling effects of their actions on an individual whose advanced age and align health had severely impaired her ability to adequately complete the application process. Though subtle and usually done unconsciously, such oppressive and discriminative tendencies against the disabled especially those with limited mental capacity remains rampant partly because it has not been adequately defined and identified. In the “social model of disability”, Tom Shakespeare accurately identifies “the neglect of impairment as an important aspect of disabled people’s lives.” He furthers this notion by adding that “while other socio political account of disability have developed important insight that people with impairments are disabled by the society as well as by their bodies, the social model suggest that people are disabled by the society, not their bodies.” Though there is unanimous consensus among sociologist that there can never be a world devoid of such oppressive tendencies towards the disabled, until there is some alternate model which properly address this issue people like my mother are bound to remain oppressed by the society. Her ordeal accurately Exemplifies the psychological and physical torture millions of impaired individuals endure before they are fully acknowledged.
After identifying the discrepancy, my mother’s application was finally approved and she could finally get health coverage through Medicare. However, by his time, her health had gotten even worse, and her symptoms were more evident. After visiting with her new physician, her MRI revealed she had Encephalopathy, with early stage Parkinson’s disease. It does appear as though her lack of proper health insurance had landed her an inaccurate or incomplete health care, leading to a wrong diagnosis. When I visited her again in December, she had been prescribed new medications and her tremors were improving. Though she was still quite frail, she was gradually gaining some strength. As always, she blamed everything on the side effects of her medications, but at least I now know what she is going through, and can personally adjust so as not to be disabling in my approach towards helping her meet her daily needs.
