A Puppet: Follow the rules I make about YOUR body! (TW: eating disorder, body image, parental issues)

It’s such an odd concept, isn’t it?? My mother started controlling my body image when I was in elementary school. 6 years old and already practically dieting. She would give me specific low-calorie, thin ass bread for my sandwiches with a single slice of cheese as my lunch for the day. 10 years old and already posting long workouts that I did on social media so my mother would be proud of me that I was making an effort to make my body more acceptable for her. I developed an eating disorder in elementary school. I was always so scared of my mother seeing me eat that I became so secretive. Binge eating disorder isn’t taken seriously, she knew I had it, admitting she knew, but I guess it was another way of controlling me for her to not help me. I remember hiding snacks under my bed that I was given at school so I could have them without her seeing and judging me. Halloween as a kid was pointless, she always gave my candy away to people at her work because I “didn’t need it”. I was a kid. My mother snapping at me to pull my shirt out, “suggesting” (the things she told me were never a suggestion: you don’t go against what Vicki says, your body is her puppet) that I take my selfies at a higher angle to hide my double chin, telling me to wear shapewear so my clothes would “flatter”… the best they could that is as she looked my body up and down in disgust. I was a child.

I have always been her puppet. Wear this, don’t wear that you can see how fat you are, god don’t sit like that you can see your fat rolls, when does it stop?? The answer? Never.

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Shy Girl Workout

Photo by Ivan Samkov on Pexels.com

Imagine you walk into a gym, a not-quite 20-year-old feminine presenting person. After months of working out in the peace of your own home and improving your self esteem, you finally build up the courage and confidence to work out in public for the first time. You sign in and find the weight room. You look up and…wow that’s a lot of men. You struggle to even find one girl. Just a bunch of grunting gym bros with all their buddies lifting weights that are probably too heavy for them to safely lift. Not to worry though! You’ve been training for this moment. All the (Instagram) research you’ve done has led up to this moment. You take a deep breath, grab your 2 dumbbells and find a corner to begin your Shy Girl Workout

Your Shy Girl Workout allows you to stay in one place with one set of weights the whole time, taking up minimal space so as not to draw any attention to yourself. To be virtually imperceptible. Invisible.

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How Our Bodies Shape Our Experiences

Theories of embodiment explore how our physical bodies influence our thoughts, emotions, and interactions with the world. At its core, embodiment emphasizes that our experiences are not just in our minds but are deeply connected to our physical being. For example, when we feel nervous, our bodies react—our heart races, our palms sweat. This connection between mind and body shows that how we feel physically can impact our mental state. Similarly, the way we carry ourselves, like standing tall or slouching, can affect our confidence and how others perceive us. In everyday life, embodiment helps us understand how culture and society shape our physical experiences. Different cultures have varying norms about body image, movement, and expression. For instance, in some cultures, personal space is highly valued, while in others, close proximity is common and comforting. By recognizing these differences, we can appreciate how our bodies communicate social cues and navigate relationships. Ultimately, theories of embodiment remind us that our physical presence is a vital part of who we are and how we relate to the world around us.

Childhood Gender Norms

Many people have better views on gender stereotypes, but obviously we know better than to not categorize people. Growing up in a traditional immigrant household the gender norms are even more distinct. I was told to not do sports, and only do activities that were more “feminine”. I believe that while stereotypical views about gender norms are deeply embedded in our society, they often begin from childhood.

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Gender Bias In Healthcare

For years and years women have often faced systemic biases in healthcare, both as patients and as healthcare providers. Women, as patients, are often not taken seriously and their pain often goes ignored. Many women’s specific conditions, such as endometriosis, are so often underdiagnosed and untreated that some doctors fail to regard these conditions as deserving of serious attention or care. In gynecology, this dismissal of women’s pain is especially apparent in many routine procedures like IUD insertions, endometrial biopsies, or hysteroscopies which are often performed without anesthesia or adequate pain management, despite many women reporting significant pain. In contrast, studies show that men are often provided with more pain management for procedures that cause less or comparable amounts of pain and discomfort. Much of this stems from a historical belief that women should or are expected to bear the pain.

Additionally, these female-dominated fields are typically paid less, though some attribute this to coincidence rather than systemic bias which is arguable. And even when women pursue more so-called prestigious and demanding specialties like surgery they are frequently questioned about how they plan to balance having a family with their career even when they haven’t expressed a desire for one—questions rarely asked of their male counterparts.This reflects how, despite progress, women remain confined to societal expectations that assume caregiving is their primary role, regardless of their professional aspirations, confirming Simone de Beauvoir’s concept of immanence, where women are seen as existing solely within the limits of traditional roles.

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Blog Post #1 : Embodiment

Embodiment represent bonds between our bodies, society, and technology, which goes above just living. Through various scientific ideas, my blog looks into how embodiment is affected by a range of environments and situations, from cyberculture to traditional social norms.

Digital Perspectives

In our generation, many individuals have used social media, impacting and shaping our self-perceptions. Based on “Not Just the Reflexive Reflex” observations, our online perception impacts our actual body image and self-worth. While this embodiment gives us control over how we show ourselves, it can be harmful because it can encourage unrealistic expectations which can impact individuals further. This leads to the questions of how real our digital identities are and how technology affects how we understand embodiment.

Phenomenological Views

Phenomenology points out a person’s subjective perception of the body, shaped by cultural expectations and norms, which moves away from the online realm to the lived experiences. Gender norms, for instance, influence how women should sit and stand, which shapes how they see themselves. Menstruation and other natural processes can feel exhausting due to these societal norms, particularly in cultures where they are taboo. These realizations push us to analyze how social and cultural conditioning may affect how we simply view our bodies.

Embodiment

The idea of embodiment has a connection in discussions concerning race and identity, as in the reading “Citizen: An American Lyric.” Not only are racial stereotypes and biases social problems, but they are also daily experiences that influence how people are viewed and handled. The criticism of racialized body expectations and public viewpoints draws focus to how deep cultural norms run and affect an individual’s identity. This point of view has a deeper understanding of embodiment, which shows how race, identity, and social norms overlap.


Overall, we can gain a solid understanding of how our bodies are not only human beings but canvases for societal expectations. Through embodiment, cyberculture, phenomenological experiences, and societal repercussions. This blog allows readers to think about how various factors shape their understanding of their bodies and to be more aware of various perspectives that take into account embodiment. “The everyday experiences and practices of living inside the body must not be overlooked or trivialized. As sociologist Anne Witz argues, it is imperative that we not only recuperate the body within sociology but also continue to forge new ways of thinking about the body that will be helpful to those working in a variety of disciplines” (Not Just the Reflexive Reflex pg.3) This way of thinking will allow society to progress more towards mental change. 

Is Female Representation in Video Games Woke?

In recent years, the gaming industry has seen a surge in conversations surrounding inclusivity and representation, and the sports gaming genre is no exception. Electronic Arts (EA) has always been at the forefront of sports video games. With the launch of FIFA 23, the developer has aimed to break new ground by fully integrating women’s football into the game. However, this move has sparked considerable debate, with critics labeling the game as “woke” for its efforts to promote inclusivity. Let’s delve into the implications of this change and what it means for the future of gaming.

Critics of the developer’s decision to incorporate women’s football often use the term “woke” to describe what they perceive as a forced attempt to cater to contemporary societal trends. For some, the idea of inclusivity feels like an unwelcome shift from the traditional formats they grew up with. They argue that gaming should remain a representation of traditional norms and that introducing female athletes dilutes the authenticity of sports games.

However, this critique overlooks a critical point: the essence of gaming is rooted in evolution and adaptation. Just as the real-world sports landscape has changed to become more inclusive, video games should reflect these shifts, too. The backlash can be viewed as resistance against broader societal changes that embrace diversity and equality.

The introduction of women into FIFA 23 is more than just a marketing gimmick; it serves to inspire a new generation of gamers and athletes. By showcasing women’s leagues and players, EA is empowering young girls to see themselves in roles that were previously reserved for men. This visibility can be pivotal in fostering interest in women’s sports, encouraging participation, and promoting gender equality in athletics. Moreover, sports games have historically been a platform for players to connect with their favorite teams and players.

I believe that as we move forward, it is essential for developers to continue prioritizing inclusivity. Embracing diversity not only enriches the gaming experience but also sends a powerful message: everyone deserves a place in the world of sports, whether in reality or in the virtual realm. In embracing this change, perhaps we can pave the way for a more inclusive future in gaming for everyone.

They Suffocate You Out of Love

I began to grow breasts at age 10. Ever since the peripherals of puberty were on my horizon, my body (and my body is me) was not treated the same. I hardly recall a time that (how did Young put it?) my motility was not governed by the social laws of femininity. Laws, not constructs; it took me 15 years to begin to grasp the echoes of possibility that the rules I lived by were not fundamental, that I was not born into a natural hierarchy where my sex, my race, my disability, and my sexuality governed my worth and my right to take up space. I am re-learning a concept I was socialized away from as a young child- that I get to take up space, because I exist. Feminine motility // the movement of a feminine being born into a female body. Ever since my body hinted at a slender waist, since my breasts came into existence, the world I have lived in has not been the same. Unlike some female philosophers, I blame this not on the experience of womanhood itself, but on the experience of my womanhood which is experienced by others through their truths, their beliefs, their internal “laws”- which is in return projected onto me.

When I was 11, I wanted to swim with the other kids in the pool. They were kicking in the water, laughing, splashing, shrieking in delight. I wanted to join them. Most of the girls had not yet grown breasts, most possessed the lanky build that children often do. I stepped to jump in, still clad in a shirt; I’d forgotten my swimsuit at home. But I heard the mothers of the other girls talking about me. “Oh, is she going to swim in a white shirt? That’s kind of inappropriate, people will see her chest! She’s so irresponsible. Her shirt will cling to her [chest] and the men will see!”
I heard my own mother agree with them that I should stay out of the water, that it was the proper thing to do. They didn’t know I could hear them, they were going to wait and watch to see if I had enough “self-awareness” (shame about inhabiting a curvaceous body) to stay out of the pool. And I did, after hearing those words; my heart was a paper with “self-love” written on it that was crumpled and brought to a flame; a dark cloud called shame took over.

Sex, Sexuality, and Signing

In my ASL lecture this week, we learned the sign for “signing” – a backward twirling of the fingers, sort of. It looks a lot like you’re winding yarn towards you. After our instructor demonstrated the sign and the class followed suit, he turned and wrote on the board.

gender differences
woman
male

He pointed to “male” and repeated the sign as he had signed it before: rapidly moving his fingers in clean circles, with his hands pointing directly at one another and his palms facing the floor. He then pointed to “woman” and began to sign a variation on this – he tilted his hands so that his fingers were in more of a triangle and angled his hands forward so his palms were facing the class. This time, rather than rolling his wrists to spin his hands, he moved his arms using his elbows.
If the “male” sign was a gallop, this was a prance.

He paused and turned back to the board. He added “gay” following woman and “lesbian” following man –

gender differences
woman/gay
male/lesbian

– and repeated his demonstration, while shaking his head and implying “No, not me!” for the “woman/gay” sign and “See, this one!” for the “male/lesbian” one – he put women and gay men in the same bucket, and men and lesbians in another.

I wasn’t sure what to make of this – no other sign we’d learned had been gendered in any way. I’m still not entirely sure what he meant, it’s somewhat difficult to Google ASL questions – I’ll have to ask next week.

It reminded me, though, of the embodiment of “feminine” and “masculine” we discussed, and how they apply to queer people – as well as how that embodiment is perceived by others. It reminded me of how women are expected and conditioned to use their bodies, as opposed to men. The “woman” sign was dainty and cumbersome, the “male” sign was fluid and practical. I was very conscious of his reaction as well – how awful would it be if he used the “woman” version of “signing”? How humiliating.