Growing up in a conservative religious private school meant living in a world defined by strict rules, firm expectations, and little room for personal expression. Dress codes dictated what you wore and skirt lengths, hairstyles were scrutinized, no colored hair was allowed, and nothing outside of the “norm”. Don’t draw attention to yourself, don’t be flashy. Uniforms were standard, carefully regulated, and even the smallest deviation, like an untucked shirt or non black/white shoes, led to disciplinary action. For me, this pressure to conform wasn’t just about what I wore but how I was supposed to think and behave. It was about control. For others, these cookie cutter rules shaped a happily structured and obedient lifestyle. Just fall in line and do not ask questions.  Questioning authority was frowned upon and individuality was seen as “rebelling”or “ungodly”. Creativity wasn’t necessarily celebrated unless it fit the standards deemed acceptable by the school. 

Piercings became my way of saying no to rigid expectations and finally saying yes to my individuality. My first piercing wasn’t just about aesthetics but making a statement. As I continued to push the limits, getting more earrings/piercings, gauging my ears, and coloring my hair the more disapproval I was met with. But for every reprimand, uniform violation, lunch detention, and the more I was told no, the more I wanted to push the limits! Soon it was not just the school who had a problem but my family as well. I didn’t care, nobody, not even my family or god, was going to tell me who I can or can’t be. I am my own person.

At first glance, a piercing might seem like a small thing but all 20 of my piercings carry an emotional meaning. They’re milestones and reminders to continue to be myself and to never hold myself back; they’re a part of me. I still remember very vividly when I got my septum pierced and my dad texted me a picture of a bull. It was meant to insult me but I took it as a compliment. What’s wrong with being a bull? They’re strong, tough, resilient and often symbolize the ability to stand tall in the face of adversity. Remember, the only person who can grab life by the horns, is You.

2024 will go down as one of the worst years of my life.  This year consisted of some serious low, lows and high, highs. My biggest battle this year was the battle I had within myself. This past school year was rough. But, this specific semester was the hardest semester I have ever had. Juggling three jobs, six classes, grieving the loss of family members, learning how to learn about my adult body, and everything else in between has seriously been so hard. I’ve explained in previous posts that your twenties are the hardest and I will forever stand on that. I’ve never experienced so much sadness and trauma ever in my life until I entered into my twenties. Grieving the loss of a parent who is still alive is also another pain I never thought I’d endeavor. Everything has happened too fast and I’ve only been in my twenties for four years. When I was a kid I would fantasize how perfect my life would be when I reached the ages 20-25 and so far those have been nothing short of challenging. It’s hard for me to talk about my life without being so dark but I don’t need to sugar coat the things I’ve gone through nor want to ignore those points in my life because I know that those hard times were only part of the process of preparing me to be a better and stronger human. 

Though this year was the hardest, this year has taught me so many things that have helped shape me into a better person. I have grown so much in many different aspects, that almost the things that happened this year were meant to happen. During this year I’ve had the opportunity to learn how to prioritize my health and wellness, by noticing the changes within my body. I’ve learned how to prioritize my mental health. I’ve learned how to create boundaries with people even if that meant bonds would be broken. I’ve learned how to stand up for myself and to not feel guilty for standing my ground. I’ve learned how to properly love someone and to be loved. I’ve learned that having empathy is a strength rather than a weakness. I’ve learned that achieving big goals means that achieving small goals comes first. I’ve learned that everyone has different perspectives on things, and that’s okay. I’ve learned that people are not always going to agree with what you agree with, and that’s okay. I’ve learned that the things I love about myself are not going to be loved by someone else, and that is okay. I’ve learned that what I love about myself and my body only matters to me and to not give a damn what someone else thinks about me. And most importantly I’ve learned that the hardships I’ve encountered have only shaped me to learn more about myself, and to love myself wholeheartedly.

Truly and fully accepting the good in the bad, and the bad in the good in my 2024 yin yang year.

WHO WOULD WIN?

(like those books – I tried without success to use a font similar to to the one on their covers)

Don’t get me wrong here – I’m grateful as hell not to have a conservative and outwardly bigoted family. I’m thankful that I can (generally) be myself without fear at family gatherings. I have one uncle (married in) who voted for Trump, but he knows better than to cause issues over my being gay.

Unfortunately, though, the blue votes and detest for Donald Trump don’t mean much for their overall views.

I’ve been taken aback before at how readily a different uncle views conservatives as poor, stupid, uneducated, white trash, and plainly said if that makes him classist then he’s classist. Instead of focusing on how poor education is a systemic issue in the South, he just wants to focus on how that turns them into poor, stupid Trumpers.

My Nana likes to flip-flop her views on men and sex as is convenient to her argument. If she wants to argue that men are trash, it’s “You don’t need men, get yourself a vibrator!” If she wants to argue with me about my being a lesbian, it’s “Plastic will never beat the real thing, you’ll see one day…” She’s sure that one day my body will realize how good a real, biological, flesh-and-blood penis feels. Lesbians get more shit from her than gay men, cause at least she can still find gay men sexy. And at least gay men aren’t birthing babies regardless.

What is the future of women’s rights going to look like in United States under the Heritage Foundation’s Project 2025 and the return of Donald Trump. The weakening of women’s rights has become a major concern since Roe v. Wade was overturned, particularly for those residing in conservative states with restricted access to reproductive health and support networks.

A few week ago we discussed how exactly change happens and looked over a few moments of resistance and activism which made me think to myself what movement of large scale change would change how United States politics operates ?

What radical movement could change help women through theses next four year ?

The 4B Movement, is an grassroots feminist movement in South Korea that questions conventional around dating, marriage, sex, and Childbirth. In actuality, what at first seems to be a personal lifestyle decision to what some my think of a cat lady lifestyle or a life of a spinster but in actuality is a daring political stand against patriarchal structures that are trying to take the country by to the 1950’s.

Many people have noticed following the election how successful the 4B Movement has been in bringing about social change since it first appeared in the early 2010s. As the movement’s impact increases, the government of South Korea, which was previously sluggish to address gender disparity and the falling birth rate, is now compelled to act. The 4B Movement has shown structural weaknesses in South Korea’s social and economic frameworks by opposing traditional roles of marriage, childbearing, and traditional family arrangements.Policymakers have been awakened by the country’s dropping birth rate, which is among the lowest in the world. The birth rate has decreased so dramatically over the last ten years that it has resulted in labor shortages, an aging population that places a tremendous burden on the welfare system, and the closure of schools in remote areas. In response, the government has offered financial incentives, including cash grants, tax breaks, and childcare subsidies, to encourage people to have children. The underlying, structural problems that the 4B Movement draws attention to, like employment discrimination, a lack of support for working mothers, and ingrained gender norms, have mostly gone unaddressed by these initiatives.

Women are coming up with new strategies to fight against institutions that don’t work for them, whether in South Korea or the US. One powerful illustration of how defying social conventions may be used as a means of political protest is the 4B Movement. The lessons learned from the 4B Movement serve as a reminder of the strength of unity, mutual support, and group effort as women in red states and abroad fight for their rights in a changing political environment. Women around the world are influencing a future that places a higher priority on justice, equality, and autonomy by adopting radical reimaginings of traditional roles but would this movement have the same effect in the United States

Growing up, I was a reading kid. The stories told in the books I read would captivate me, bringing me into a fantasy of a world that felt magical to experience. Then, with a snap of the teacher’s fingers, my beautiful bubble in dreamland went *pop*. Another lecture, another complaint to my parents about how I didn’t pay attention in class; all I did was read. I did try to focus, I really did. But it was so boring. I kept reading; my books kept getting taken away, but I would bring more.

School was weird for me. College is, too. I’m smart, but sitting in a classroom just listening to someone talk at me for ages is one of the most agitating experiences to sit through. I engage with new information by asking questions- sometimes in the first week of a new semester, I will raise my hand in a new class to ask a question, and in turn recieve a curt, impatient answer from a professer who prefers to be the sole talker and I, the passive listener. And I can’t do that. So I check out. Going to class becomes something I dread, it becomes a painful moment in my day that takes so much energy out of me to not fidget, not move, and just sit still and listen.

I was in special ed in high school. I had one class period every day where I was with other kids who needed a break from the intense informational overload that we experienced constantly. In other classes, though, the non-special ed teachers would treat me with irritation or disdain for dawdling or getting up and pacing (in the back, not distracting others) while listening to them teach. I had an accomodation to be able to leave class 3 minutes early to avoid crowded hallways, and I got yelled at by teachers regularly in front of the entire classroom because they kept “forgetting”.

I identify as neurodivergent, but I don’t ruminate on all the different ways that the education system and the workplace have behavioral norms and expectations that don’t align with the way that I naturally show up. I would crumble. I do crumble. I experience burnout constantly from the fact that many of my responsiblilites that I need to show up for are not structured to accomodate my needs or my best interest. The reading “The normalisation agenda and the psycho-emotional disablement of autistic people” aligns with the social model of disability, though I like this article more because the social model still largely unacknowledges mental disability. I resonate with the biggest point made in the article- It isn’t someone’s inability to fit into society that makes them feel psychologically harmed, it is society’s inability to accomodate their needs as someone who naturally diverges from the norm.