What’s in a Name?

Image description: A white sheet of paper with the words "Sign here" followed by a dotted line. A tip of a pen hovers over the line.

Names, everyone has one (or several), and a name is used in everyday occurrences. You see your friend walking down the hall, you excitedly yell their name and embarrass or startle them, you see your pet eating something they shouldn’t, you shout their name and chase after them, you get the idea. A lot of people never really think much about their name, it’s their name, their parents gave it to them, case closed, but the issue of names comes up when one’s gender identity is brought to the forefront of their thoughts. As I try to untangle my own understanding of my gender identity, my name becomes an issue.

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Becoming “That Girl”

There is no doubt that many of us have changed after quarantine and as a result of this pandemic. Many of us are overwhelmed, anxious, but some of us might have used the time in quarantine to better themselves. I was not one of those people. If you scrolled on TikTok during the height of the pandemic back in March/April of 2020 you would see glamorized morning routines, cloud coffee videos, exercise routines, etc. But, there are hidden layers to what you might see through your screen.

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Is It A Fit, Or Is She Just Skinny?

@brooklyndallen

this looks so bad on me mostly bc I don’t look right in baseball caps😭 it’s not /that/ bad #XfinityFanthem #fashion #pinterest #style #plussize

♬ Need to Know – Doja Cat

Fashion – and by extension, clothing – is created for skinny people.

Our world is built on the assumption that everyone is a certain size (that size being small) and that while some variety is allowable, the range of “acceptable” is even smaller than the jeans they expect us to fit into. Social media influencers flood their pages with images of them in a variety of outfits made by a variety of fashion sponsors, but the question posed here is simple: is the “Look” actually cute, or do we just view smaller bodies as more pleasing?

A recent TikTok trend involves users taking photos of fashion influencers and celebrities and styling themselves in similar outfits to try to answer this question. One note on this: While I have purposefully chosen a video of someone who is not skinny doing this challenge, I also found a lot of videos made by users who could be argued are skinny themselves, just not as skinny as an 18-year-old runway model.

The commonly-reached conclusion most creators have come to is two-fold. First, that the outfits themselves are often excruciatingly basic and boring. They lack color, interesting silhouettes and texture. The majority of these outfits are a pair of jeans or athletic pants and a t-shirt or sweatshirt – the sort of outfit that is typically classified as athleisure or “going to the grocery store.” The people wearing them look good, certainly, but they are not breaking new ground in the realm of fashion and won’t be found on the runways of New York fashion week. The commentary on these photos typically ignores the lack of originality, or even fails to notice it; the comments sections are flooded with people praising them for their beauty and their outfits.

Second, these outfits only look good because the person wearing them is skinny. When placed on a larger body they often look absurd. It’s worth noting that the absurdity is created largely because the challenger is not modifying the outfit or silhouette to more aesthetically suit their body type, as one would typically do when actually buying clothes or creating outfits for themselves; they are purposefully taking the outfit in its original form and simply scaling it up, precisely like modern-day jeans manufacturers. This conclusion only serves to enhance the first one: if the outfit itself is boring or even straight-up bad, why are we applauding anyone for wearing it?

The answer I, and many TikTok users, have come to is that skinny bodies are put on a pedestal of beauty. They are seen as the original, the default, and the gold-standard. They are afforded privilege that larger bodies are denied. They are given beauty labels that are unattainable for those around them, and in some cases like this, may also be completely inaccurate. Even worse, skinny bodies are also seen as the standard in medicine, which can leave massive gaps and inadequate care for those in larger bodies.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, of course, and I’m not here to reach any conclusions for you on whether or not you think these influencers and their outfits are pretty, but I would have you start to ask yourself this question every time you see yet another model wearing the same thing your dad wears to mow the lawn: Is it a fit, or are they just skinny?

To Bind or Not to Bind? That is The Question

This blue and pink image depicts a stereotypical male figure, a half male half female figure, and a stereotypical female figure. The figures are similar to traditional bathroom signs.

Image Source: https://medium.com/@queerquill/what-its-like-living-with-gender-dysphoria-as-a-non-binary-person-81054795a2bd

As a non-binary person, I am locked in a constant and overwhelming struggle of feeling comfortable in my own body. Embodiment theories tell us that our physical body impacts our emotional well-being, and I feel the effects of this phenomenon daily. One tangible representation of this struggle is my experience with binding.

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Kim Kardashian’s MET Gala Look; Why do People Care?

A collage of Kim Kardashian, the left photo exhibiting Kims face, with a full face of makeup. The photo to the right is Kim Kardashians MET gala outfit where she is dressed head to toe in all black. The cloth covering all of herself aside from her hair.

Arguably the most well know women in the world showed up to the MET Gala this past week in an all black outfit with nothing but her hair exposed. This being the complete opposite of what society was expecting to see Ms. Kardashian in. As we discuss embodiment, Kim’s attire speaks volumes to this concept, as she is the face of female sexuality in American cluture. Embodiment: The expectations and constraints on how society sees an individuals body. In Kim’s case this expectation differs based upon her fame.

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Anxiety.

Anxiety.

The constant thoughts that fog up our head. The constant thinking of having to make it in life, in order to make your parents proud. The constant thought of how important your future is and how things might not go as planned due to certain things that are happening in your life. The constant thoughts about the what if’s, that often play in the back of your mind like a broken record. The thoughts of rejection, stopping you from being your best. The millions of thoughts that are going around in your head and often having the feeling of being very overwhelmed. The constant thought of having to pretend to be okay, when you know your not, especially in front of your family because you don’t want to feel like a burden. Sometimes we don’t like to explain this to people because they might view you a certain way. Sometimes explaining anxiety to people can feel like having to explain how to solve world hunger. Sometimes trying to explain to people how your feeling, they will just tell you that “it’s just all in your head”. They are wrong it’s more than just that.

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You are enough.

Sometimes we lose ourselves when things don’t go as planned. Sometimes we lose focus of what really matters due to the judgement of other or because of our past. Sometimes we hold on to our past because we are scared of change. Sometimes we create very big pictures of our future and then get upset that it didn’t go as planned. This is your reminder that you are enough. Through your flaws and all, you are enough. Never spend your time on earth, being a watered down version of yourself just so people can like you. Sometimes it’s going to feel like you have a long way to go, but just remember you’ll get to through it. Don’t ever sit around and think that you are not enough for someone, you are enough. Sometimes it’s going to feel like you have lost your way or that you have seen almost every shade of gray, just know that everything is going to be okay.

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The Great Depression of 2020

Depression Meme Dump #3 - Album on Imgur

I had my 21st birthday in the middle of Quarantine, meaning my 20’s have already started out as depressing. As I’m sitting here, trying to figure out what to write, I think it’s very important to recognize what we as a world, and especially as a country, have gone through over the past year. 2020 has been the worst year of many people’s lives, with maybe less specific tragedies numerically, but definitely including one of if not the longest lasting tragedy in recent years. COVID itself has ruined lives and left people broke and begging for help just to survive. I’ve gotten very lucky so far. I haven’t gotten sick, I haven’t had much problems with money, but this year has been tough on everyone.

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