Growing up, mental health was just one of those things we never talked about. Within my community, illnesses such as depression or anxiety, or even everyday stresses, were looked at as weaknesses, something you had to bottle inside you or defeat on your own. And I will be honest; I am guilty of once believing the same stereotypes-that people who struggled with their mental health were somehow less capable or resilient. I lived by these assumptions ever since, feeling that if anything similar happened to me, I would simply get over it somehow. Life does not work that way, however, and finally, after a while, I ended up suffering in silence. The burden of all the things was more than I can bear, and then I realized how my beliefs about mental health had been not only wrong but damaging-too much to myself and others.

It wasn’t until I faced my own battles with anxiety and depression that I truly understood how damaging stigma could be. I remember feeling so isolated and ashamed, somehow convinced that I was failing, that I was somehow “weak” for needing help. But in time, through some therapy, support from friends, and my own reflections, I came to learn that struggling with mental health does not make you weak; it makes you human. The shame I grew up with was based on illusions. As I regained my freedom from stigma, self-compassion fostered my journey. Now, I see that there is nothing different between mental health and physical health. And for healing to take place-not just for me, but for everyone-silence and stigma surrounding mental health have to be broken.

Throughout college I’ve had a recurring will-they-won’t-they relationship with a friend of a friend – nothing major, we don’t see each other too often, but we’ve flirted back and forth for a few years now – recently that relationship came to a head, and I found myself confiding in another friend of mine, while catching her up in all the drama I’ve found myself in recently during one of our once-in-a-blue-moon wine nights. As I was regaling her about my situationship, she stopped me halfway. “Wait wait wait, is this guy cis?” As I sheepishly affirmed her assumption she continued “Cause so far this guy sounds like a chaser.” Just a little embarrassed, I took another sip of wine. I had been afraid of that, but didn’t want to think too hard about it. The thought that this guy I had been talking to only wanted me to fulfill some sort of fetish, to have sex with me only for bragging rights, that my body would have been nothing more than a bucket list item for him, it was a good way of making me feel cheap, unloved, unwanted any further than through sex. 

There’s a sort of pressure you feel if you’re a trans person to only date or hook up with other trans people. It makes sense honestly, how can you – as a trans person – be sure that your partner sees you the way you want to be seen? Knows and validates the struggles that you face in your day to day life? Understands the intricacies of your body outside of a cisgendered understanding of the gender binary? Acknowledges the importance of your identity without making it the entirety of your being? Date another trans person. Really it’s best to avoid cis people all together.

Some people, like my friend, are lucky and stumble into a t4t relationship almost accidentally – she and her fiance had been dating for years, before both realizing and coming out as trans to each other around the same time – others find it relatively easy to find and be with other trans people – finding a mystical Goldilocks zone where they’re able to signal to each other that they’re both trans without outing themselves to the cis crowd around them. I, on the other hand, find it to be a herculean task to find a trans partner, possibly in no small part due to – and forgive me if I’m being full of myself here – my ability to pass remarkably well as a cis man. I’ve gotten to a point in my transition where when I come out to cis people, their first reaction is to think I’m a trans woman early on in her transition, instead of a trans man with years of HRT, surgery, and social training under his belt.   

While I have many friends who are trans, just by coincidence I tend to find myself hanging out and partying with cis people, drunkenly telling strangers and friends of friends that I’m trans, seeing their look of surprise, trying my best to answer their genuine questions, listening to my friends roommate – a little drunker than I meant to be that night – tell me that “Really I’m bi, but I never had the chance to try anything out before” as I vaguely register him moving his hand from my shoulder, to around my waist. 

How do I know if a cis man is a chaser? Really it’s best to just avoid cis people all together.

Do you ever notice how easily influenced this generation is? The power that influencers hold over “Gen-Z” is huge. These influencers often overlook the power they hold. The podcast episode “Ozempic” is a perfect example of the trend of wanting to be thin has become widely popular. Most of the audience on social believed that influencers are using this type 2 diabetes drug to lose weight. Over 50 influencers who drastically lost weight have been accused of using this drug and many of them won’t deny that they haven’t used it.

Influencers who constantly post updates about their daily lives disregard the power they hold over other individuals who look up to them as inspiration. If they are magically losing weight and ignoring comments to address tips they’d suggest to help their audience who are struggling, this will lead to negative stereotypes about body image. I wonder if influencers feel offended by their audience making assumptions or if they acknowledge the mindset they are putting out to everyone? If so, why not address it instead of ignoring it? Is it to gain more popularity?

Normal/desirable bodies are the affect that come from losing weight so suddenly. Why does one need to have extreme weight loss to be appealing to a crowd or feel beautiful? “More weight loss than any previous generation of weight loss drugs and we’ve had this immediate huge wave of media being like is this the end of obesity does this invalidate body positivity”. This quote from the podcast highlights how media will encourage one another to love their body and embrace the flaws yet, they will say this is the cure to losing fat. We need to do better…

Autism: autism spectrum disorder (ASD), is a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by repetitive, restricted, and inflexible patterns of behavior, interests, and activities and persistent deficits in social communication and interaction.

Neurodivergence:  people whose brain differences affect how their brain works

Autism and neurodivergence have always been a part of my family’s life, and navigating these experiences through my sister’s journey has taught my family and I so much about the importance of understanding and acceptance. Growing up, my sister always felt a bit different from her peers. Social interactions were often challenging for her, and she had intense interests that set her apart. It wasn’t until later in her life that she was diagnosed with autism. This revelation was both a relief and a catalyst for self-acceptance. Understanding her neurodivergence allowed her to embrace her unique strengths and acknowledge the areas where she needed support.

As I continue to educate myself on said topics I learned that one of the most significant challenges for autistic individuals, including my sister, is the tendency of society to infantilize them. This concept, extensively discussed by Jennifer L. Stevenson, Bev Harp, and Morton Ann Gernsbacher in their work, highlights how autistic people are often perceived and treated as less capable or childlike. This infantilization can lead to a lack of autonomy and respect, further perpetuating the stigma and misunderstandings surrounding autism. On the contrary Damian Milton and Lyte’s work on the normalization agenda and the psycho-emotional disablement of autistic people sheds light on the harmful effects of trying to “normalize” autistic behavior. The pressure to conform to neurotypical standards can be damaging, leading to feelings of emotional distress. It’s important to recognize that neurodivergent individuals, like my sister, have unique ways of experiencing and interacting with the world, and these differences should be celebrated rather than suppressed.

With that, I think in order to truly support autistic individuals, we must move beyond the stigmatizing narratives that surround autism. Understanding autism as a form of neurodivergence rather than a deficit allows us to appreciate the diverse ways in which people think, feel, and communicate. Education and awareness are crucial in breaking down these barriers. By fostering open dialogues and promoting acceptance, we can create a society where everyone is valued for their unique contributions. It’s crucial to listen to the voices of those who live these experiences every day. Their insights and stories are invaluable in shaping a more inclusive future. Challenging the stereotypes and misconceptions that surround autism and work towards a world where everyone feels seen, heard, and respected.

Below is the autism spectrum color wheel designed to help individuals with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) identify, express, and communicate their emotions and needs. It bridges the internal emotional landscape of a person with autism and the external world, providing a common language for understanding and interaction. The color wheel is particularly useful for individuals who are visual learners and process information more effectively through images, colors, and visual representations rather than verbal or written instructions. It can help reduce anxiety by providing clear, predictable information, enhance understanding of abstract concepts, improve independence in daily activities, and facilitate communication between individuals with ASD and their caregivers, educators, or therapists.

-Santana A 😕

In one of my classes last semester, I learned about “othering” in the context of racism, and something that stood out to me was the detrimental effects it has, especially on individuals who are labeled as the “other.” By labeling someone as an “other,” it inherently assumes that there is a default or normative standard that these individuals fail to meet. This concept connects deeply to issues surrounding disability and body size, as society often marginalizes people with disabilities and diverse body types by positioning them as deviations from a perceived norm.  It creates a harmful narrative that devalues and dehumanizes individuals who do not fit within societal norms. This narrative reinforces the idea that there is a “right” or “ideal” way to exist, marginalizing those who differ and often placing blame on them for their perceived shortcomings. This harmful narrative of “othering” has profound real-world impacts that go far beyond social perception; it affects how people are treated in various aspects of daily life. For example, people with disabilities, like those with autism, are often treated as if they’re incapable or stuck at a child-like level, no matter how old they are or what their abilities are. This kind of infantilization can strip away their independence and agency, making it harder for them to have control over their own lives. It reinforces the idea that they aren’t fully capable adults.

Why do strangers think it’s okay to comment on someone’s body, especially when they have no idea what someone is going through? Lately I have been experiencing more judgment than I ever have because I work at a public restaurant, where I see regular customers quite often. I’ve been at this job for almost a decade and I started here as a teenager, so obviously my body has changed over the years. But, what annoys me the most about working in the public eye is that people are just genuinely rude and judgemental. I’ve been asked multiple times by my regular customers if I’m pregnant, or if I’ve “let myself go.” I’ve also had two separate people, who I don’t even know, ask me if I agree/ also think that I’ve gained weight. People have asked me if “covid’s got the best of me” or just tell me that I “look bigger and my face has more weight to it.” What I think is the craziest part of all of this is that I think I’m pretty skinny. Am I the 100lb girl I was when I was 15? No, and am I only 130lbs? Yes. But, it has been proven to me that people only categorize girls to be skinny based off of what they have seen on social media. 

To make this story even worse, the only people who have ever commented on my weight or acknowledge the change in my body have only come from the mouth of WOMEN. I feel like it is really hard for me to  wrap my head around the idea of women supporting women because I constantly deal with people like this. It frustrates me because the pressure from social media has caused more division in women, rather than solidarity. Which is upsetting because in today’s society we are in desperate need for true women’s support. 

I brought this up though because I want to tie it back to our class when we talked about how we think work can shape our bodies, in week 6. 

My body is the way it is because I am a growing and developing young female, where I automatically am going through biological changes. Plus the damage of 60 hour work weeks, and the overstimulation from mentally drainage from being a full time college student, and all the environmental changes have taken a toll on my body. No one tells you that your twenties are the hardest years of your life. Personally, people have glamorized what my twenties were going to be. My parents and grandparents would explain that your twenties are the best times of your life and to enjoy every moment because you’ll be in your prime. I’m in my twenties, half way through and I am still waiting for when the best times will start. It blows my mind that no one talks about how your twenties are the HARDEST times of your life. Your body changes dramatically in your twenties, and you have no choice but to just adapt to the changes and continue on with life. These changes could be environmental, biological, physical, or mental changes. Your twenties is the time where you are simply just figuring things out, and that’s not the easiest. I actually find it to be the messiest. 

Anyways, all of these factors have an effect on the physical appearance of my body. The body that represents me and the body I have to show to the world. I know it’s okay to go through these changes and I don’t really let the thoughts of other people bring me down or hurt my self-esteem. But, what’s sad to say is that I didn’t think like this until recently. My job has shaped me into this tougher person because working with the public is hard and can affect people if they let them. I used to let others’ opinions crush me, but now I truly don’t care what people think. People are entitled to their own opinions and I respect that, the only thing I don’t respect and will not tolerate is the pure rudeness from strangers. And I thank my labored body for allowing me to become like this.